Jake English (
golgotha) wrote in
sortinghat_rp2012-01-06 10:56 pm
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1 frightening fauna
a Jake English journal
January 06 2012: A grand opening indeed.
Ahoy my good chaps! Lovely weather today aint it? My name is jake english as aforementioned. I am a fifth year hailing from the noble house of gryffindor. From this day henceforth this is officially now my journal! Or "wizard blog" as all the kids here call it these days.
Here i will recount all my smashing adventures -- tales of heroisms, intrigue, action, adventure and perhaps even romance. *A hearty wink for all the lovely ladies out there* It will be a primary source for all my peers out there fresh off the press!! I can tell this will be very gripping and i bet my bottom boonbuck you lot would also have a spanking ripsnorter of a time reading this.
Now onto the swashbuckling adventures!!
A couple weeks ago i brought out my arms and set off towards the one ruin of the island i reside in. The weather was rather harsh that afternoon. The rain splashed all over my face with an almost cruel intensity to make up for the absence of snows chilly ferocity. The sky was getting dark and the frightening fauna were sure to scour the area with blood lust in their eyes. It was as if the world was weaving an intricate web to deter me from my journey what with the way its coming together in perfect harmony to piss me the fuck off. Alas it did not win!! I gripped my pistols tighter and trudged on and persevered.
I reached the ruin at about seven. Hungry tired and excited i entered. The inside was pitch black. Luckily taking a page from ms lara croft the famous archeologist i came prepared with a flashlight. What did i find?
Friggin canned goods. The cans look so bloody old that it makes one wonder if the ancient mayans had can openers already. I went home disheartened and with an arm full of carrots and peas in a can. And then i played weekend at bernies in my dvd player! Have you guys watched it? If not i strongly suggest it. Its so friggin hilarious.
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My only concern is that perhaps it is TOO awesome!!!!!
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that island sounds like it's just the so awesome it can't even be too awesome!!
like armageddon!
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*Do excuse me for the high-pitched state my tone has taken*
Armageddon is one of my favorite movies!
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you, my good sir, have great taste!!!
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...
Have you watched weekend at bernies??
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i have watched that masterpiece and it was amazing!!!
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hey, do you love matthew Mcconaughey's films too?
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Ok this is going to sound a bit out of the blue and people dont usually regard him a good actor but by any chance:
Do you like Nicolas Cage??
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i think nicolas cage is awesome!!!
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i'm john egbert!
what's your name?
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A pleasure to meet you mr egbert.
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Ah! I can remember you now. As coincidence would have it apparently we have a mutual friend.
You are one of jades cohorts are you not???
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Were island neighbors she and i. I love her and i think shes a blast.
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i didn't know she had any island neighbours!
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You dont ask someone for the time and then proceed to prattle about your island neighbor even if said acquaintance is dashingly handsome and relentlessly swag.