ϟ 1

[notapigeon]

Dave, I've already named our dragon, so don't even bother.

And if anyone asks, I'm the dad.

Comments

[selfhatred]

WELL I GUESS SOMEONE OUT OF THE TWO OF YOU HAS TO HAVE A DICK.
THOUGH I'M NOT SURPRISED IT'S YOU BECAUSE STRIDER SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL.

[notapigeon]

I'm more qualified for fatherly duties.

[selfhatred]

NOT GONNA ARGUE THERE.
I'LL BE SURPRISED IF MAKA EVEN LETS ME SEE OUR EGG.

[notapigeon]

Don't count on it. I think she has something against fun.

[selfhatred]

TELL ME ABOUT IT. SHE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN GONNA LET ME READ TO IT UNLESS IT'S EDUCATIONAL BULLSHIT.

[notapigeon]

Dragons probably don't even like books.

[couragecore]

Oh yeah?

[notapigeon]

Well, maybe that's only half true.

[couragecore]

The fact that you're even talking about me behind my back at all is the problem here, Wilbur.

[notapigeon]

It's only behind your back if you never hear or see it.

[couragecore]

Did you think I'd see this? Is that why you even said it?

[notapigeon]

No! I didn't think you'd ever make the effort to check.

[couragecore]

So you think I don't put effort into things?

[notapigeon]

You put too much effort into things.

[couragecore]

You want me to stop talking to you then? I can do that.

[notapigeon]

No, no! That's not what I'm saying.

[couragecore]

Whatever. I know how you really feel.

[notapigeon]

No, you don't.

[clockspinner]

dude if im the mom then i get some say in the little shits name
at least give me rights to the middle name
its the least you can do
my figure will never recover

[notapigeon]

The middle name is yours, as long as it fits Sean Connery.

[clockspinner]

deal
and ive got just the thing


sean pimpdaddy connery

[notapigeon]

That's not even a name.

[clockspinner]

wow rude
it just so happens that pimpdaddy is my middle name
lovingly bestowed on striders through the generations

[notapigeon]

That is not your middle name. You're such a liar.

[clockspinner]

how do you know
have you seen my birth certificate

[notapigeon]

Yes.

[clockspinner]

bullshit

[notapigeon]

Okay, so I haven't seen your birth certificate. But I know your middle name isn't Pimpdaddy.

[clockspinner]

well why do you want to name the dragon sean connery so bad

[notapigeon]

Because Sean Connery was an awesome dragon! He was the LAST one!

[clockspinner]

when the hell was sean connery a dragon
last i checked he was an ancient santa lookalike

[notapigeon]

He was too a dragon!

Okay, he played a dragon in a movie, but it was still Sean Connery.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

aRE YOU SAYING THAT, uHH, mEANS DAVE IS THE MOM?

[notapigeon]

It can't be argued.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i DON'T KNOW, tHOUGH,
i MEAN, aRE YOU SURE HE'S, uH, fIT TO BE THE MOM?
nOT THAT i AM QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING, sKILLS,
bECAUSE i THINK, uH, tHAT WOULD BE A LITTLE RUDE OF ME,
bUT MAYBE IT, wOULD BE BETTER IF YOU WERE, bOTH THE DADS,

[notapigeon]

No. Only one of us gets that title and I called dibs.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i AM JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR, yOUR BABY, iS ALL,
bUT i GUESS IF DAVE IS OKAY, wITH BEING THE MOM,
tHEN, uHHH,
oKAY,
i JUST THINK THAT, mAYBE HE WOULD BE A BETTER DAD,

[notapigeon]

Are you saying I'd be a terrible dad?

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

wHAT,
nO!
wHY WOULD YOU THINK i WAS SAYING THAT?
i WOULD NEVER, uH, iNSULT YOUR PARENTING SKILLS,
eVER,

[notapigeon]

But you said Dave would be a better dad.