Three Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

right so.
it kinda looks like i fucked up last time i used this thing.
a lot.
alright listen up.
i was gonna do this through all kinda of filters and shit.
but then i decided im just gonna fucking lay it all out right here to everyone.
i dont fucking care who sees.
because everybody saw my massive pissy bitchstorm.
and you know what?
no i dont fucking expect this to fix a goddamn thing.
i dont even expect it to fix one thing.

anyway.

first serket.
vriska i mean.
im really sorry for what i said.
that shit was fucked up and you didnt deserve any of it.
it sounds like your mom was pretty fucking awesome.
way better than mine.
i shouldnt have ever said anything bad about her.
specially not when you were just trying to help.
which i just wanna say i appreciate the shit out of you for trying to do that.
even if i was a huge gaping asshole bigger than the goatse man himself.
anyway i just really feel like shit for doing that to you and im sorry.
you dont have to forgive me.
you dont even have to say a fucking word.
but just know im really fucking sorry.

vantas...es
and karkat.
mostly karkat.
dude im sorry for that shit.
that was so fucking out of line.
look just because you do the shit you do doesnt make you less of a man.
it doesnt mean youre gay.
i was just being a dick and im sorry.
and im really sorry about your mom.
and about everything i said about her.
im really sorry.
like i said to vriska i dont expect you to say anything.
its fine.

[Despite the fact he decided not to filter anything, the next two sentences are filtered. Because he knows if Dave saw them, he would think things he shouldn't. So this is filters to Di and Sal.]

and to the other vantases (i dont know your names).
youre better parents than i could ever fucking be.

[/end filter]

banks.
im sorry that your brother is a cripple
wait. no. fuck.
im sorry for saying hes a cripple.
i mean even though he is.
what i fucking mean is im sorry for dragging him into the shit.
that wasnt cool at all and im sorry for the shit i said about him.
i know i fucked up and i know youre pissed as fuck about it.
but im sorry.

basically im just.
sorry to everybody.
i fucked up.
end of story.
i dont expect anyone to forgive me.
i wouldnt forgive myself.
but yeah there it all is.
peace.

Comments

nothing can stop his Strider hateboner

[selfhatred]

YOU CAN TAKE YOUR APOLOGY AND SHOVE IT.
ALL YOU STRIDERS ARE THE FUCKING SAME.
YOU DON'T MEAN IT, YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT.

ACTION

[clockspinner]

[Dave goes straight to the library, where he knows Karkat spends most of his free time, once he reads that. He's not even fucking around with telling him off through the journals - Bro would just tell him to step off and fight his own battles anyway. He goes up to Karkat and grabs his chair with his right hand, yanking Karkat back and swinging a punch with his left fist right at Karkat's face.]

If you're not gonna accept his fucking apology, then leave him the fuck alone and stop making him feel like shit! Who the fuck are you to talk to him like that?! Stop being an uppity little bitch and go take some fucking midol.

ACTION

[selfhatred]

[Karkat had actually been going to ignore the next reply. He was already far more annoyed than usual and the next thing he knew he was holding a hand to his nose, pain throbbing on his face. Dave had punched him a few times before in the three years they'd known each other but that really fucking hurt.]

What the hell is your fucking problem? If you're asking me what my problem is why don't you ask yourself that?

ACTION

[clockspinner]

What the fuck is my problem? You insulted my fucking br-- Bro, that's what my problem is!

[Dave had been there with him on the roof of the Astronomy tower. Dave had seen Bro sob. Dave was not going to let some cowardly little fuckstain make Bro feel even worse than that.]

I'll say it again. If you're not gonna accept his fucking apology, then stop. Fucking. Talking to him. He feels like shit enough, just leave him alone, Vantas.

ACTION

[selfhatred]

[Karkat stood from his seat, running the back of his hand under his nose as he placed his other hand on the table, glaring. He was pretty sure his nose was bleeding, and he sniffed, snarling.]

If you were listening closely I was insulting every fucking Strider that's ever existed. And if you ask me why I fucking hate the lot of you so much, maybe you should think back to first year before blowing the fuck up at me or punching me again. Nothing will change my opinion about you Striders, and no fucking apology can make up for the way he insulted my mom and my aunt.

ACTION

[clockspinner]

[Dave saw red. His features curled in a snarl, and his hands curled into fists at his sides. He wasn't even thinking of his wand - he wanted blood, and he wanted it on his knuckles.]

You need to learn some fucking respect, Vantas. He left the school because his brother just fucking died and left behind a kid. A kid who would have gone to a fucking orphanage if Bro didn't go get him, because his deadbeat mom walked out on him and his dad when he was four. Awesome, your mom wasn't a total piece of shit. Some of us aren't so fucking lucky.

Are you insulting my little cousin, too? 'Cause if you are, your nose won't be the only part of you that's bloody.

ACTION--LASS JACK

[selfmakeout]

[Oh dear--here we go again, another conflict. There's only one way to solve this--going auto-Harley and skidding in front of Karkat to shield him.]

Dave, stop!

[clockspinner]

[Dave's eyebrows shot up behind his shades when Jade appeared seemingly out of nowhere and put herself between him and Karkat.]

Jade, this really isn't about you. Can we talk later?

[selfhatred]

[Karkat had to blink too when Jade stepped in front of him. He hadn't been expecting anyone to step in actually since the library was pretty deserted up his end of it.]

Jade, I can fight my own fucking battles.

[selfmakeout]

I don't want either of you fighting at all, it is completely stupid!

[Huff. Honestly, what was it about boys and always needing to punch each other.]

We can talk later only if you leave Karkat alone. You don't have to apologize to him or anything, he was probably being a douche for no good reason like usual, but punching him will only get you into trouble!

[clockspinner]

[Dave glared. Which was probably lessened by the shades.]

He insulted my family, and I'm the one who has to back down? Nuh-uh. No way, Harley. It's not that easy. If he agrees to leave my family the fuck alone, I'll leave his face intact.

[selfhatred]

[Karkat glared straight back.]

Your brother insulted my family first! Ever since I met you you've been nothing but an asshole to me. What do you think my fucking reaction is going to be?

[selfmakeout]

[Jade introduced her palm to her forehead.]

Ugh--both of you! Could you please please please stop shouting at each other for a second?

Dave, Karkat is always going to be an angry asshole, there is nothing much you can do about it no matter how many times you hit him or what. The only thing that can really be done about it is expressing your feelings and being patient!

[clockspinner]

[Nope, sorry Jade, Dave's back to being shit-pissingly mad.]

Oh, okay, so when Bro makes an apology especially for you, because he's man enough to know that he fucked up, you sulk like a wet-nappied little baby and refuse to accept his apology. Stop being such a fucking tool and nut up or shut up, piss stain!

[selfhatred]

I have every fucking right to refuse to accept his apology! And I was thinking about taking it when you came and fucking punched me! Good job, asshole, you just made it fucking invalid!

Voice

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Hi. Yeah. He's still here, wondering what the fuck is up with the blood on the journal that he saw. He's written to both Dave and Karkat both with no answer. Finally he sends this through Karkat's journal, which is sitting open on the table a few feet away.]

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS GOING ON OVER THERE, YOU LITTLE FUCKWADS?

Action

[clockspinner]

[Dave draws his wand and flicks it, and the journal flops closed. He's gonna get a howler about that one, but look how many fucks he gives.]

[selfmakeout]

Dave. You should not be ignoring him like that! He is a teacher!

[So Bro sort of really creeps her out, but he's still authority!]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat's lips quirk a little.]

What's the matter? Davey too scared he's going to get into trouble?

[clockspinner]

Hardly. I'll get into more trouble if he finds out I'm the one that did that.

Wanna go over for me again why my force-feeding you a knuckle sandwich invalidates Bro's apology? Last I checked, we're not the same person.

[selfmakeout]

[Jade will wait patiently for Karkat's answer this time, rather than interjecting. But she's still keeping an eye on both of them to make sure they don't spring at each other.]

oh if only he knew what is going down...

[plushaeusrumpified]

ok man.
but just tell me one fucking thing.

when the fuck has a strider ever said the words 'im sorry'.
has dave ever fucking said it?
no probably not.
its not a fucking thing we do.
not unless we really fucking screw up.
and if reading its not good enough then fine.

[Voice]

I'M SORRY!

[And it sounds sincere. It sounds frustrated, but it sounds sincere.]

[selfhatred]

[The only thing Bro gets an answer from are blood splatters, since Dave and Karkat are too busy fighting in the library.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[The fuck are tho-

that's not Dave's ink. Nor is it Karkat's.]

What the fuck is going on? Is that blood?

[selfhatred]

[And sometime later.]

Dave just punched me. You should consider your apology fucking invalid.