Three Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

right so.
it kinda looks like i fucked up last time i used this thing.
a lot.
alright listen up.
i was gonna do this through all kinda of filters and shit.
but then i decided im just gonna fucking lay it all out right here to everyone.
i dont fucking care who sees.
because everybody saw my massive pissy bitchstorm.
and you know what?
no i dont fucking expect this to fix a goddamn thing.
i dont even expect it to fix one thing.

anyway.

first serket.
vriska i mean.
im really sorry for what i said.
that shit was fucked up and you didnt deserve any of it.
it sounds like your mom was pretty fucking awesome.
way better than mine.
i shouldnt have ever said anything bad about her.
specially not when you were just trying to help.
which i just wanna say i appreciate the shit out of you for trying to do that.
even if i was a huge gaping asshole bigger than the goatse man himself.
anyway i just really feel like shit for doing that to you and im sorry.
you dont have to forgive me.
you dont even have to say a fucking word.
but just know im really fucking sorry.

vantas...es
and karkat.
mostly karkat.
dude im sorry for that shit.
that was so fucking out of line.
look just because you do the shit you do doesnt make you less of a man.
it doesnt mean youre gay.
i was just being a dick and im sorry.
and im really sorry about your mom.
and about everything i said about her.
im really sorry.
like i said to vriska i dont expect you to say anything.
its fine.

[Despite the fact he decided not to filter anything, the next two sentences are filtered. Because he knows if Dave saw them, he would think things he shouldn't. So this is filters to Di and Sal.]

and to the other vantases (i dont know your names).
youre better parents than i could ever fucking be.

[/end filter]

banks.
im sorry that your brother is a cripple
wait. no. fuck.
im sorry for saying hes a cripple.
i mean even though he is.
what i fucking mean is im sorry for dragging him into the shit.
that wasnt cool at all and im sorry for the shit i said about him.
i know i fucked up and i know youre pissed as fuck about it.
but im sorry.

basically im just.
sorry to everybody.
i fucked up.
end of story.
i dont expect anyone to forgive me.
i wouldnt forgive myself.
but yeah there it all is.
peace.

Comments

[selfhatred]

[grey inkblots everywhere]

YOU GUYS DO KNOW THIS IS NOT FUCKING FILTERED, RIGHT?

[mo_cara]

HeY, bRo, I wAs JuSt WrItInG aBoUt YoU!
mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS!
sO hOw CoMe FaGs LiKe Me Is CaLlEd BeNdY.
oR cAlLeD fAgS, eItHeR, cAuSe WaNtInG tO mAkE oUt WiTh AnOtHeR dUdE aIn'T mUcH lIkE sMoKiNg.

[selfhatred]

[Shit. How does he answer this without sounding like a jackass.]

WELL YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH A FUCKING CONTORTIONIST, GAM.
I MEAN COME ON, I'VE SEEN YOU GET YOUR LEGS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND SIT LIKE THAT FOR HOURS.
FROM WHAT I KNOW IT STARTED OUT MEANING A BUNDLE OF STICKS. GOD KNOWS WHEN IT STARTED BECOMING A TERM FOR GAYS.

[mo_cara]

yEaH, sEe ThAt'S wHaT i WaS tHiNkInG?
eXcEpT i CoUlD pRoBaBlY sTiLl Do ThAt EvEn If I wAnTeD tO gEt It On WiTh BiRdS.
oR mAyBe NoT!
dO yOu ThInK tHaT cOuLd Be A tEsT?
lIkE iF yOu CaN sUcK yOuR oWn DiCk, YoU'rE fOr SuRe A hOmO?

[selfhatred]

[more inkblots, and his handwriting is scribbled hastily.]

WELL I GUESS I AUTOMATICALLY FUCKING FAIL.
I CAN'T REACH MY FUCKING TOES LET ALONE CONTORT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BODY.
GUESS I'M NOT FUCKING GAY AFTER ALL, WHAT A FUCKING RELIEF.

[mo_cara]

[paaaaause]

YeAh, DaMn, BrO, i'M gLaD fOr YoU.
sOmEtImEs It KiNd Of MoThErFuCkIn SuCkS tO bE tHiS wAy, AnD yOu DeSeRvE tO bE hApPy AnD sHiT, yOu KnOw?

[selfhatred]

[...fuck. no. shit that wasn't what he meant to say. Karkat grinds the heel of his hand into his forehead in frustration, ink smudging from tears.]

shit
that wasn't what i wanted
i didn't mean


fuck

[and there won't be another reply after this because Karkat has shut his journal]

[mo_cara]

NaH, iT's CoOl, No WoRrIeS.
wE'Re CoPaCeTiC!

[doctorkishitani]

It's not?

[selfhatred]

NO.

[doctorkishitani]

In retrospect, I probably should have realized this when you and Tavros started replying to us.

Did you know that autofelatio is physically possible?

[selfhatred]

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THIS SHIT IS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.
MY POINT IS YOU'RE ON A FUCKING PUBLIC POST IN PLAIN FUCKING VIEW.
YOU'RE A RAVENCLAW.
USE THOSE FUCKING BRAINS.

[Filtered]

[doctorkishitani]

I thought these were valid anatomic questions, but Professor Matteris just told me why they might be considered inappropriate.

Maybe I should have filtered most of these entries.