Three Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

right so.
it kinda looks like i fucked up last time i used this thing.
a lot.
alright listen up.
i was gonna do this through all kinda of filters and shit.
but then i decided im just gonna fucking lay it all out right here to everyone.
i dont fucking care who sees.
because everybody saw my massive pissy bitchstorm.
and you know what?
no i dont fucking expect this to fix a goddamn thing.
i dont even expect it to fix one thing.

anyway.

first serket.
vriska i mean.
im really sorry for what i said.
that shit was fucked up and you didnt deserve any of it.
it sounds like your mom was pretty fucking awesome.
way better than mine.
i shouldnt have ever said anything bad about her.
specially not when you were just trying to help.
which i just wanna say i appreciate the shit out of you for trying to do that.
even if i was a huge gaping asshole bigger than the goatse man himself.
anyway i just really feel like shit for doing that to you and im sorry.
you dont have to forgive me.
you dont even have to say a fucking word.
but just know im really fucking sorry.

vantas...es
and karkat.
mostly karkat.
dude im sorry for that shit.
that was so fucking out of line.
look just because you do the shit you do doesnt make you less of a man.
it doesnt mean youre gay.
i was just being a dick and im sorry.
and im really sorry about your mom.
and about everything i said about her.
im really sorry.
like i said to vriska i dont expect you to say anything.
its fine.

[Despite the fact he decided not to filter anything, the next two sentences are filtered. Because he knows if Dave saw them, he would think things he shouldn't. So this is filters to Di and Sal.]

and to the other vantases (i dont know your names).
youre better parents than i could ever fucking be.

[/end filter]

banks.
im sorry that your brother is a cripple
wait. no. fuck.
im sorry for saying hes a cripple.
i mean even though he is.
what i fucking mean is im sorry for dragging him into the shit.
that wasnt cool at all and im sorry for the shit i said about him.
i know i fucked up and i know youre pissed as fuck about it.
but im sorry.

basically im just.
sorry to everybody.
i fucked up.
end of story.
i dont expect anyone to forgive me.
i wouldnt forgive myself.
but yeah there it all is.
peace.

Comments

[doctorkishitani]

[This reply opens with a series of frenzied looking inkblots.]

You just did it?

How did you manage it? Did you cast a malleability charm on yourself or was it just a matter of finding the right position?

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[There are just.

a whole lot of brown inkblots.

So many brown inkblots.]

[mo_cara]

HeY, mY fInE mOtHeRfUcKeR!
:o)

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Eeeeven more inkblots.]



hEY,

[mo_cara]

mAn, I dOn'T eVeN kNoW hOw To MoThErFuCkIn ExPlAiN.
yOu KiNdA gOtTa SeE tHiS cRaZy ShIt To UnDeRsTaNd.
I aIn'T mUcH wItH tHe KnOwInG aBoUt ChArMs, ThOuGh.

[doctorkishitani]

[Another series of very frenzied inkblots]

Would it be possible for me to observe you?
You wouldn't have to perform the fellatio itself, but I would love to see how you managed to put yourself in that kind of position.
You must be amazingly flexible!

[mo_cara]

YeAh, I mIgHt FeEl WeIrD iF yOu WaNtEd Me To SuCk My OwNsElF oFf In FrOnT oF yOu.
YoU gOtTa At LeAsT tAkE mE oUt FiRsT. ;o)
bUt I cAn ShOw YoU hOw I dO iT aNd ShIt.
YoU wAnT tO cOmE uP tO mY rOoM?

[selfhatred]

[grey inkblots everywhere]

YOU GUYS DO KNOW THIS IS NOT FUCKING FILTERED, RIGHT?

[mo_cara]

HeY, bRo, I wAs JuSt WrItInG aBoUt YoU!
mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS!
sO hOw CoMe FaGs LiKe Me Is CaLlEd BeNdY.
oR cAlLeD fAgS, eItHeR, cAuSe WaNtInG tO mAkE oUt WiTh AnOtHeR dUdE aIn'T mUcH lIkE sMoKiNg.

[selfhatred]

[Shit. How does he answer this without sounding like a jackass.]

WELL YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH A FUCKING CONTORTIONIST, GAM.
I MEAN COME ON, I'VE SEEN YOU GET YOUR LEGS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND SIT LIKE THAT FOR HOURS.
FROM WHAT I KNOW IT STARTED OUT MEANING A BUNDLE OF STICKS. GOD KNOWS WHEN IT STARTED BECOMING A TERM FOR GAYS.

[doctorkishitani]

It's not?

[selfhatred]

NO.

[animalmagnetism]

[There are a couple tiny drops of ink, like he pulled the quill out of the inkwell too fast.]

{>Boys. Haha! Boys.<}
{>Of course it's possible.<}
{>It just takes a lot of practice and carefully working up to it for most people.<}
{>Now! That settled.<}
{>Filter it next time?<}
{>Some of the younger students probably aren't ready to hear about it just yet!<}
{>We do have a couple that aren't even old enough to be in school.<}
{>So be mindful of them.<}
{>Oh! And happy self-discovery!<}

[mo_cara]

Oh, DuDe, I wAs WankInG eVeN bEfOrE i GoT tO sChOoL, iT's CoOl.
AnD tHaNkS!

[animalmagnetism]

{>And some are late bloomers!<}
{>I didn't start until my

...I don't actually remember which year anymore.<}
{>Far later than that though!<}

[Filtered]
{>And pull back on your reins a bit.<}
{>It looks from here like you've made him very uncomfortable.<}
{>He'll need time to come around and come to terms with it.<}
{>Be patient. Okay?<}

[wwistful]

. . .
Perhaps you should consider the benefits of a filter as well, Banks.

[animalmagnetism]

{>A bit too late this time I think.<}
{>And what did I say that hadn't already been mentioned?<}

[arachnoble]

Maybe you should ask these questions in PRIVATE, Mr. Kishitani.

[doctorkishitani]

I think I might have forgotten to filter my last few entries.

But in any case, they were valid anatomic questions.
Why shouldn't they be asked over the journals, Professor Matteris?

[arachnoble]

These are questions of a very sexual manner, regardless of the reasoning behind them.

I'd rather not read about a thirteen year old who can suck himself off.

[clockspinner]

its not that hard
mostly its in the position
and also the size of the tool
like you said just a creative way to fap

[Filtered because apparently you're not meant to talk about this on open forums.]

[doctorkishitani]

You can do it as well?

I didn't know autofellatio was this common.

[Filtered to 3rd years.]

[mo_cara]

yEaH, hE's A gIaNt ToOl, So It Be PrEtTy SiMpLe On HiS eNd.

[dou8letrou8le]

This seems just very
Inconvenient
For you.

[givesyouaboner]

All I have to do is glance down.