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[rule_britannia]

Two weeks at home.

Two weeks managing to avoid getting a black eye.

It was nice while it lasted.

Bloody wankers.

Comments

[rule_britannia]

PISS OFF YOU BLOODY WANKER THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

[allamericanreject]

To the contrary, Artie. I think it concerns me when someone's messing with ya anyway! Because heroes can't just let this sort of thing happen!

Who's even doing it? I mean I know you're easy to beat up, being short and stuff. But still.

[rule_britannia]

Oh god I hate you so much.

It's my brothers. You know it is.

If you want to come and try to kick them about be my bloody guest.

[allamericanreject]

You're weird. You hate me because I wanna help you? Jeez.

Anyway it wouldn't help you if I did it at this point, and if you hate me why would you want me over? Logic failing you, buddy?

[rule_britannia]

Because I know damn well you wouldn't stand a chance.
Stop bothering me.

[allamericanreject]

Hey.

I'm good at what I do. Maybe it's your brothers who wouldn't stand a chance.

...You know I bet they wouldn't stand a chance against you if you meant it. I bet you don't mean to hurt them.

Also no. I'm bored.

[rule_britannia]

I'm not sure being a pain in the arse is an acceptable combat skill.

Unless you plan to talk them to death.

[allamericanreject]

Well aside from the fact that wizards are shit-useless without wands, I know defensive spells, idiot.

Don't be daft.

[rule_britannia]

You're more of an idiot than I thought if you think you can go up against two Hogwarts graduates by yourself.

They wouldn't fight fair.

Not that you wouldn't deserve it. I'm not sure who I'd love to see kicked to the curb more.

[allamericanreject]

Fff. You can tell who's the Slytherin here. I guess you and your brothers have the shit attitude in common.

[rule_britannia]

Yes and we can sure tell who the Gryffindor is, you smarmy arse.

[allamericanreject]

Maybe if you didn't have a charging broomstick up YOUR ass, I wouldn't be so smarmy. Or whatever. Goddamn it you're annoying. Can't you just let a guy help you?!

[rule_britannia]

Sure I can, sure.

Do you know one?

[allamericanreject]

Me, shitsack. Then again, MAYBE NOT. You're not worth helping, are you? Fine, I hope your brothers black your other eye. Remind me their names so I can tell 'em to give you an extra punch in the gut for me!

STUPID!

[rule_britannia]

I knew the 'good little Gryffindor' act was a load of bullshit.

Quit wasting my time, Jones.

[allamericanreject]

No, you're just fucking infuriating! Why can't you quit being an asshole for three seconds? It's not my fault you get your ass kicked, is it?

[rule_britannia]

Not for a moment did I place any blame on you.

[allamericanreject]

No, but if someone has interest in helping prevent you from getting hurt, you'd think that you would go for it.

Search me why I care.

[rule_britannia]

You've spent the last five years being a constant thorn in my side.

You tell me why you bloody care.

[allamericanreject]

Because I'd rather I was the one picking on you. Least I ain't gonna give you a black eye. Unless you deserve it, hehe.

[rule_britannia]

Oh, what a shining example of Gryffindor nobility you are.

[allamericanreject]

Heroism is relative. Just cuz you don't get it doesn't mean that you can knock it.

...You know. Maybe one day you could hide out in my closet from your brothers. It'd be pretty neat, I'll feed you and give you water and everything, good little Slytherin!

[rule_britannia]

Oh piss off.

[allamericanreject]

I was just kidding, loser. And besides, if you didn't want someone to talk to you'd just quit writing.

[That just kinda...siiiits there for a minute.]

Don't quit writing, I'm crazy-bored and there's no one to talk to right now.

[rule_britannia]

[Arthur does quit writing, until the next message comes through, and even then it's a few minutes before he replies]

You have to be kidding me.