Forwarddated to Saturday night

[bev_rage]

i'm duying dying
im gonna die here on a footun
rip roxy lalonde she died on a gutun footun futon covrd in snacks n blood
oops should i put a tmi warning?
tmi im bleeding erywhre n it sux send help

ps im not rly dying, just bleeding frm my girly biys bits
pps smene tell dirk i'm not rly dying pls

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Kindly ignore the fact his impeccable hair is sticking out at the sides from his quite literal hair pulling.]}

That doesn't sound natural. Just. Stop. Don't accept this.

_{[And now he's dialing 112 to report a medical emergency.]}

[bev_rage]

Dirk!!! [And now she's throwing anything within her reach at his head.]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He's got the one dialed when he gets hit in the face with a smuppet. He nearly drops his iPhone and has to scramble for it. For the moment he just forgets about dialing, and doesn't even realise he hit the call button. If anyone's programmed on his speed dial in that spot, they're getting an earful.]}

What? What am I supposed to do! You're sprawled out and groaning like you've been impaled and the flat is turning into an ocean of blood.

HOW CAN I DO NOTHING.

[bev_rage]

JUST CALM YOUR TITS AND GET ME A FUCKING HOT TOWEL OR SOMETHING!

[givesyouaboner]

JESUS FUCK DID YOU SOAK THROUGH THAT ONE ALREADY.

SHIT DAMN FUCK COCKSUCKER GODDAMNIT ROXY

THERE AREN'T THAT MANY LITRES OF BLOOD IN YOUR BODY. MAKE A TOURNIQUET OR SOMETHING.

[bev_rage]

NO, I MEAN FOR MY BACK, YOU NUMPTY. IT FUCKING HURTS AND YOU YELLING AT ME ISN'T HELPING!

IT'S REALLY HARD TO MAKE A TOURNIQUET WHERE I'M BLEEDING FROM, STRIDER!

[givesyouaboner]

OH MY FUCK NO I JUST CAN'T.
MAKE IT STOP ROXY.
I CAN'T DO THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON I CAN'T HELP YOU MAKE IT STOP OH MY FUCK I THINK I SEE SOME OF IT.
I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
I'M GOING TO THROW UP AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE AND WHEN I'M DONE RETCHING I'M JUST GOING TO FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE I CAN'T SAVE YOU.






_{[being completely useless in a crisis is a strider trait.]}

[bev_rage]

[Uh oh, there's some lip wibbling happening.]

STOP.
YELLING.
AT.
ME.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Don't worry; he can't yell anymore. He's too busy covering his mouth and running to the bathroom. He wasn't lying when he said this was making him sick. At least the call gets disconnected before the retching starts.]}

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Give him about ten minutes and he'll emerge. Hopefully. If he doesn't die first too.]}

[bev_rage]

[And she's hugging a smuppet and sniffling. It's official, she hates being an adult.]

Sorry I made you puke.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[His eyes are a bit teary, but that comes with the whole having quality time with the porcelain bowl king. He wipes at his face with his sleeve and hands her another towel.]}


How sure are you that you can keep from haemorrhaging and dying.

[bev_rage]

[She wipes her eyes with the towel then shoves it behind her back amongst the smuppets for extra padding.]

Pretty sure. Mum said every girl goes through this from like my age until they're old.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He just stands there, at the foot of the futon, hella awkward.]}


















How do you bleed so many times like that and not die.

[bev_rage]

[She shrugs.]

Dunno. Mum said sometimes it can be weird and it looks like you're bleeding to death when you're not or it could be just a little and you don't even really notice.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Yeah, okay. This isn't helping him get over feeling queasy. Not at all. Fuck.]}

I don't like this.

_{[He just doesn't know what to say. If he thinks too much he's going to start panicking again and holy shit that might happen anyway because why is this happening when there's not an adult and god that's making him feel really bitter.]}

I'm sorry I'm not good at helping you.

[bev_rage]

[She shifts toward him and ow, moving is pain fuck you too, body, but she manages to get close enough to lay her head on his shoulder.]

It's not your fault.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He doesn't hesitate in patting her head. He can do that, but he's still at a loss.]}

No, but you need someone to take care of you right now and I don't know how.

[bev_rage]

I don't need someone to take care of me, it's just really helpful since my insides are eating themselves.

[Oh no, broody!Dirk will not do. Time to shove a smuppet in his face!]

I'll be fine in a few days, 'kay?

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[That imagery makes his stomach churn again. It only sounds horribly painful.

However, it's impossible to remain unsmiling when she does that. Gosh, he just really loves smuppets. Maybe one day he can make his own.]</sub>

Promise?

[bev_rage]

[Puppet nose nudging his cheek.]

Promise.

[givesyouaboner]

Okay.

_{[Suddenly he needs Cal. brb a sec, he's got to retrieve 'em from the bedroom.]}

Do you want me to get you pizza or something?

[bev_rage]

Pizza sounds so good right now. [What's junk food burn out from a week of cold pizza?] And your uncle says there's money in the blender for you to go get me tampons and pads.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He has no problem getting her a leftover slice. There's like, a ton left anyway, which is why he just brings a box over.]}

What.




He didn't say it to me so that's not a thing.

[bev_rage]

[She takes it and is already tearing into a cold slice of meat lovers'.]

We're gonna run out of towels before they get back.