three ♓ voice;

[quasistellar]

[You may want to cover your ears for this one, folks. Professor Constance Peixes is angry. She is very angry. She hasn't sent a Howler, but this might as well be one going out to the entire faculty and student body.]

I am absolutely appalled at the degree of inappropriate subject matter that our students are currently discussing in their journals. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, and particularly so for discussing it with incoming first-years. Mr. Makara and Mr. Kishitani, you both have a month's detention, beginning on the first day of fall term. Mr. Makara, for writing the entry in question, and Mr. Kishitani, for encouraging the discussion, particularly among the younger students.

What in Merlin's name were you thinking? This isn't a 'friendly discussion about biology', this was getting students to discuss matters of a highly personal and private nature! And at the ages of eleven, twelve, and thirteen!

AND MY DAUGHTER AMONG THOSE STUDENTS!

You continued arguing about it being perfectly all right to discuss touching oneself after some of the younger girls said they weren't comfortable with it! They were right to think that their mothers wouldn't want to see them in the middle of a discussion like that, because they don't!

To the rest of you: I highly recommend you think before you write a journal entry discussing a topic of a sexual nature, and frankly, I discourage you from doing so.

Comments

[wwistful]

You have pinchy little fingers and I can't hit you. [The blandest look.]

[wwhatevver]

[Giving you back that look.] What do you expect? I don't hawe big bear hands like you.

[wwistful]

I don't have bear hands. I have normal sized hands, thank you very much.

[wwhatevver]

No way, your hands are way bigger than mine.

[wwistful]

I'm bigger than you, Eridan.

[wwhatevver]

Well yeah, you're older than me, 'course you'd be bigger than me.

[wwistful]

[Oops big bear hands are going to smother your face.]

Pardon?

[wwhatevver]

[Wow you know that's going to just get a ton of flailing from him.]

Dad no! [Auuughhh.]

[wwistful]

I can't possibly hear you, son. Pity my hands are so terribly over-sized.

[wwhatevver]

[And now he's making gross exaggerated noises in a manner in which it sounds like he's dying. ... A few moments later he goes limp.

He's totally pretending to be dead.]

[wwistful]

[Stare. Eridan. Are you really his son?]

Oh goodness. How will I ever dig a hole deep enough to toss you in?

[wwhatevver]

[What. He can't be dramatic sometimes?

Gosh.




Also still dead.]

[wwistful]

[Welp. If Eridan is dead he won't mind if he pinches at his sides frantically.]

[wwhatevver]

[YEP DEAD STILL DEAD ST--

OH GOD SUDDEN PINCHING. AIDAJSD he jumps the fuck up in some odd squirming mess and shoves his hands away.]

IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT THE DECEASED?!

[HE'S PLAYING I PROMISE.]

[wwistful]

It's how I check for the dead. [Poke poke poke.] Nice try. You've still got to put up with me for the better half of your life.

[wwhatevver]

That's... not the best way to do it you know.

[Papping, you're not poking him anymoreee.]

Oh darn. I thought I would be able to get out early for good behawior. [cheesy grin...

... That was really bad Eridan.]

[wwistful]

And you would know better, would you?

[Poke.]

The only way you're gettin' out early is if you kill me. That's not good behaviour at all.

[wwhatevver]

You could check their pulse or somethin'.

[Pappoke.]

The only thing I'we managed to kill is a bunch of bugs and things like that, I doubt you hawe much to worry.

[wwistful]

Pinchin' is quicker. I like my way better

Bugs are just the start of the road, lad. Soon you'll be killin' mice and I'll have to send you away to Azkaban.