Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[mo_cara]

hOw CoMe YoU'rE aLlOwEd To StEaL pEoPlE's S***?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Wow. Wasn't that like, forever ago? You're still hung up over that?

[mo_cara]

HoW cOmE?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because it was an accident?

I still can't find a clown store, so stop being impatient. I'll get you some new makeup eventually.

[mo_cara]

I aLrEaDy GoT sOmE, iT aIn'T tHe SaMe.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Then what d'you actually want me to do about it? I already fucking apologized.

[mo_cara]

AnSwEr ThE mOtHeRf***iN qUeStIoN.

[doctorkishitani]

It is a valid question.
Why won't you answer him?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because it was a fucking accident, that's why. It's not like I did it on purpose! Dumbledore knows that, he doesn't hold it against me. I apologized. We all need to move the fuck on from it.

It'd be one goddamn thing if I stole shit every day, but nope. It was one time. It was an accident, so give me a fucking break.

[moveslikejaeger]

how do you steal something on accident?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Magic.

No, really. I worded a spell badly. It was a stressful night.

[moveslikejaeger]

works for me!

[plushaeusrumpified]

I like you. Who the fuck are you?

[moveslikejaeger]

hey you try pronouncing latin with a german accent its not easy i get messing up spells because of accidental mispronunciation

im maxim jaeger! im in gryffindor! 8D

[plushaeusrumpified]

Heh. I just tried it; you're right, it's pretty damn difficult. It's doable though, so keep practicing and you'll get it.

I'm Bro Strider, but that's Professor Strider to you, obviously. Or Professor Bro, I don't really give a fuck.

[mo_cara]

iF iT wAs An AcCiDeNt, HoW cOmE yOu WeRe AlL mAkInG fUn Of PeOpLe AfTeR yOu DoNe It?

[plushaeusrumpified]

There's a difference between making fun of people and kidding the fuck around, bro. I'm sorry if I hurt your delicate feelings, but it wasn't intentional.

[mo_cara]

Nah, YoU aIn'T.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh silly me, I forgot you know me better than I know myself. Does this mean we've switched places? Am I you now? Fuck, where's my facepaint, gotta do this shit right.

[mo_cara]

pEoPlE wHaT aRe ReAlLy SoRrY dOn'T tAlK lIkE yOu Do.
PeOpLe WhAt ArE rEaLlY sOrRy DoN't SaY tHeY'rE sOrRy FoR wHaT tHeY tHiNk Is WrOnG aNd WeAk In ThE mOtHeRf***eR tHeY aLl Be ApOlOgIzInG tO.
yOu TaLk LiKe SoMeOnE wHaT hAs To SaY iT bEcAuSe YoU wErE cAlLeD oUt On YoUr S***.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh Jesus fucking Christ you read way too damn much into apologies. That's not how it works for me, bro. That was me being sincere. I'm not just apologizing because I was called out on my shit, I'm not that much of a dickbag. I stole your shit, that wasn't cool and I fucking know that.

[mo_cara]

NoT yEt.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Now you're just not making any fucking sense.