Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[bev_rage]

the rad red was coolr

[clockspinner]

what

no

[givesyouaboner]

Wha
You
Okay so I didn't know that grammar was even a thing for you.
This is amazing.
Like, seriously. Most flawless uncle, that is you.
What languages would even count as that?
Regardless, I need to take this class.
I'll let Orangina play with Mrs Pickles if you don't let me.

[dou8letrou8le]

Why did you ch8nge positions?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Ouch. Are you telling me that I'm not cool anymore?

[plushaeusrumpified]

What?













I wanted it to be a surprise, so if you're upset about me not telling you sooner, I'm sorry.

[clockspinner]

who the fuck are you and what have you done with bro

[plushaeusrumpified]

What? Of course it's a thing. I'm not an uneducated dumpass. But I'm glad you think it's cool or whatever, so thanks I guess.

Mr. Pickles is already dead, do you really want to orphan an entire group of kids?

[doctorkishitani]

Did you graduate last year?
I'm honestly surprised that you already qualify for a teaching position, but congratulations!

[bev_rage]

y








lmao no not rly its just werid seeing u write proper

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because teaching flying isn't where my passion or whatever's sappy shit like that you wanna call it. I'd rather teach languages.

[givesyouaboner]

I just didn't know. But that's awesome.
I just wish you told me sooner because then I could've made you teach me things earlier in the summer.
Because languages are cool, yeah, and I need to get better at the ones I've studied, but magical ones sound even more impressive.

I'd know how they'd feel so I would know how to comfort them.

Strike unhackable

[plushaeusrumpified]

I hate you.

I'm 32. Does that tell you anything?

[plushaeusrumpified]

It feels kind of weird to do it, to be honest. But whatever, we'll all get used to it. And it's totally cool, so shut up.

[mo_cara]

hOw CoMe YoU'rE aLlOwEd To StEaL pEoPlE's S***?

[dou8letrou8le]

What l8ngu8ges do you know already?

[rule_britannia]

Congratulations, professor.

I'll be signing up for your class.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I am Bro! You act like this is a huge difference.

Are you disowning me for this or something?

[bev_rage]

nope, wierd

[clockspinner]

im not disowning you
cause youre not my bro

[plushaeusrumpified]

ok um.
is this better.
because im really not understanding you.
and this is kind of shitty.
because i was excited.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well I didn't really tell anyone, so it's not like I was withholding it from you specifically.
You know Portuguese, don't you? I could teach you that too, if you wanted.











I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinking.

[clockspinner]

how do i know youre not some dark wizard polyjuiced into bro

when was i born

[plushaeusrumpified]

Wow. Wasn't that like, forever ago? You're still hung up over that?

[mo_cara]

HoW cOmE?