Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm sure I did, but alas. We were just always meant to be, you and I.

Thanks. D'you know any languages yourself?

[wwistful]

No. We weren't.
[You were meant to be with my girl you bastard.]
My Father tried to teach me Gaelic, but I didn't take to it. I also know some phrases in mermish, strictly for business purposes.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Stop questioning fate, it's rude.

[He has no idea what you're talking about..........]

Guuuuurl, we should learn that language. Together, we'd put the gay in Gaelic.

Ok but no seriously, you should learn more Mermish.

[wwistful]

NO.

Why? I've no use for it anymore.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Wow. I was joking, so I'm just gonna back up and shut up, since I'm having a major deja vu moment. Which is to say, you're taking me way too damn seriously. Again. I thought we discussed this? Someone's backtracking.

Because there are plenty of times when it could be useful.

[wwistful]

Now you're the one taking me too seriously. Honestly, Strider, if you're going to get up in arms everytime I become dismissive of your jokes it will be incredibly difficult for us to get along. Besides, I'm not used to blokes making cracks like that. It's horribly confusing.

And I know enough to get by, I hardly need to study day to day conversation.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Excuse me for taking the gigantic purple letters seriously. Forget learning Mermish, you need to learn how to not look like a sour old grape.

And I mean that in the nicest way possible, so don't get all pissy.

You clearly just need to spend more time with people that have a sense of humour. Or people that enjoy casual sex.

Suit yourself, but there'll come a day when you need it. You'll wish you'd have let me teach you.

[wwistful]

You do realise how hypocritical you sound, don't you? Do big letters frighten you or something? I'll keep that in mind.

So you're implying I should spend more time with you, are you?