Bro Strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sortinghat_rp2012-08-08 03:04 pm
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in sortinghat_rp2012-08-08 03:04 pm
Seven Smuppets
Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'
Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.
But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.
Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.
Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.
Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.
Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.
Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.
But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.
Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.
Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.
Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.
Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.
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[Hey, you're the one who said you knew Spanish up there. Maybe now the shitheads around here will appreciate how hard it is to learn a second language different from your own.]
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You know I'm the languages professor and not the guidance counselor right? I mean, I can try to be if you want me to, but I dunno.
Eh, why not. Lay 'em on me, let's add Doctor to my list of titles, right next to Professor and Pimp Daddy.
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BESIDES THAT IT WAS JUST A FUCKING STATEMENT. NO NEED TO BREAK OUT THE COUCH AND NOTEPAD, STRIDER.
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And it's too late, the couch and notepad are already fucking here. They were always here. I'm about to get fucking Dr. Phil on your ass, so sit back and tell me how you fucking feel, little man.
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LOOK, I APPRECIATE THE OFFER BUT I DON'T NEED THERAPY.
Filtered
Seriously. I'm not actually doing this to mock you, contrary to popular fucking belief. You're clearly bitter about something and not spilling the beans. You can't just say something like that and expect me not to be curious as fuck. I can try and help if you'd just fucking tell me what the hell's wrong.
Stop pushing everyone away, for Christ's sake!
[He's the best therapist, it is him.]