Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[bev_rage]

idk mbe gina shrededd it

[plushaeusrumpified]

[You can literally hear his facepalm.]

[bev_rage]

[And he can probably hear her laughing from the other room.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well if that doesn't rustle his jimmies.]

Shut your face! You owe me a new goddamn dictionary because you're the reason we have a cat in the first place!

[bev_rage]

Don't be such a tight ass, I was kidding. I don't know where it is.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm not being a goddamn tightass! That dictionary's just...

It's important to me.

[bev_rage]

...It's a dictionary.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Instead of yelling through the house, he slowly gets up and makes his way to where Roxy is at. It's a really good thing he's wearing his shades, because there's so many emotions behind them in his eyes.]

I've had that dictionary for twenty years. David gave it to me when I first started rapping.

[It's obvious his voice is strained and he's trying his best to sound calm.]

[bev_rage]

[Well now she feels bad for teasing.]

Oh.

Sorry. I didn't know. I really don't know where it disappeared to, I didn't even know you had one.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yeah you should. Except not really, he can't be mad at that face.]

Did anyone mess with it during the party?

[bev_rage]

[No one can be mad at this face. She shakes her head, no.]

Dirk has a pretty huge book in his room, that might be it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He closes his eyes and lets out a small sigh.]

Of course he'd have it.

[He's quiet for several seconds.]

I... Can we talk? Alone, I mean. We could go to the roof.

[bev_rage]

[Uh-oh. Adults wanting to talk with you alone is never a good thing. The last time her mother had wanted to talk with her alone their cat had died.]

Um...okay.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yeah that's right, he killed the cat.

Okay no not really, so don't be so damn scared. He doesn't respond though, instead he just turned and starts heading for the roof.]

[bev_rage]

[He lays a hand on that cat and she's telling her mother and aunt. Don't fuck with Lalondes and cats. She sets down her journal and follows him, her stomach beginning to knot.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It's not long before they're on the roof. He makes his way over to the air conditioning unit and sits against it, before motioning for Roxy to come over and join him.

There's a long moment of silence... Probably too long for Roxy, who has enough time to get even more scared of the talk. But finally, he just lets out a sigh and runs a hand through his hair, knocking his hat to the ground.]

Has he talked to you lately?

[bev_rage]

[Oh man, hat on the ground. This is serious.]

Dirk? Yeah, we talk all the time. [Roxy pauses, looking from Bro to her feet.] ...Not about his dad though.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro closes his eyes and swallows. He's not going to lie that he isn't disappointed. Because it means Dirk isn't talk to... anyone. At least as far as he knows. If he isn't telling Roxy things, then who the hell would he tell?]

Nothing? At all? I mean... He hasn't said anything about him?

[bev_rage]

Well...not exactly? I'm not sure if he'd want me to tell you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Ow.

Is he really that untrustworthy? Has he done something along the lines to make Dirk just... not want to talk to him? Fuck. Probably. Without even realizing it, he's probably done something exactly like that. It's enough to make him hate himself fiercely.

He looks away and is quiet for a long time. He doesn't know what to say or do. He feels kind of sick and he just wishes that everything could be easy. But no, everything has to be fucking hard as hell.

Finally, he slowly reaches up to pull off his shades. His eyes are closed for several seconds before he opens them and turns back to Roxy. His eyes are pleading and full of hurt and sadness, every emotion he's feeling so clearly defined in them. When he speaks, his voice is quiet.]

Please. I know he's hurting and he won't talk to me. I want to help, but I can't because he won't let me. Please just tell me everything he's told you.

[bev_rage]

[Oh...no, that expression hurts. Also wow, he really does have eyes and they're kind of pretty???]

He doesn't talk about him a lot but a couple of times he's hugged me and cried for a while. I don't think it's anything against you that he isn't telling you this stuff, it's just...I dunno, easier with me cause I'm his best friend?

Like there are things I've told Dirk that I could never tell Mum.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's once again quiet as he lets all of that sink in. He's only seen Dirk crying once or twice... He had no idea he's cried on Roxy before, too. It makes him wonder just how Dirk is able to even bottle it all up. Then again, he has no room to talk considering he's good at it, too.]

He needs to talk to someone...

[There's a pause as he considers his next response. He's unsure of doing it though, because... A part of him thinks that it's a lot to ask of Roxy. Another reason he's hesitant is because he knows if Dirk knew about this conversation, it would just... not go over well. But it's the only thing he can think of.]

Would you talk to him? For me- no, not even for me. For his own good? He needs someone to get him to talk and he just won't do it with me. But... You're his best friend. I think he'd talk to you if you tried. I just...

I'm worried about him a lot. He needs someone to be there for him. He needs you.