sortinghat_rp | Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

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Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

[OOC: Submit Homework Here]

Alright listen up, sproglets. And I mean that in the most loving way possible, so calm yourselves. ML starts Monday and before we dive headfirst into the fucking ins and outs of squeaking like a Mermaid and making orgasmic Troll noises, I need to see how you all can handle the English language.

Look up. First thing you see, write a rap about it. Six inches long, due Monday. If you're late, I'm kicking you out of my class. No exceptions, no second chances.

[Filtered to Dirk and Dave]

sup.
hows class goin.
you kids stayin outta trouble and shit?
gimme all the deets.
aint nobody given you any trouble are they?

also i may or may not have to talk to you guys about a thing one of these days but.
no rush.
but yeah ^ see above answer the questions all that jazz.

[Filtered to Vriska]

Hey. How's shit going? I haven't heard much out of you in a few weeks and just thought I'd check in.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[Oh no, Bro why did you do that? You're not supposed to make kids laugh right after they've finished crying. But this is what you've done. FOR SHAME.

But honestly, Dirk doesn't mind at all. He loves shoulder rides. He's just going to hold onto Bro's hat and be glad that his uncle decided this instead of carrying him like a baby.]}

Is it almost curfew?

[He's glad to have made Dirk laugh. That alone makes him feel better by a lot. He makes sure Dirk's balanced and won't fall, before he starts heading in the direction of the castle.]

Eh, few more minutes, I think. But it wouldn't really matter since you're with me.

...It's weird having a curfew, ain't it?

_{[And Dirk is content for the ride! He feels like a fucking giant up here, oh my god.]}

It's really weird. It's so dumb how early we have to be in our dorms. I don't really like that aspect.

Heh, yeah. It's pretty dumb. See that's the good thing about being a teacher. You don't have aaany rules. You should consider it for when you graduate. I bet you're smart enough that by the time you graduate, you'd be able to take over for me. Early retirement for me, man.

_{[Dirk hasn't put serious consideration into what he's going to do when he gets older. He has mechatronics interests, yes, but that's not the only thing. Besides, he's eleven. What does he know about anything?]}

You think so? _{[He pauses.}} I think that'd be a bit rude, really. Who would I be to usurp your position like that? What if you're not ready to retire? What would you do?

_{[Of course he's taking this too seriously.]}

[He can't help but let out a laugh at that, because gosh Dirk. Way to miss the point of it, which was supposed to be a compliment on your intelligence.]

Please, I'd retire now if you thought you could handle the class.

_{[He still doesn't get it. SORRY BRO.]}

Unfortunately that isn't the case. Otherwise I wouldn't even be enrolled in your class. I don't understand why you would even say that when I lack all the qualifications, even in a hypothetical sense.

[He has to resist the urge to face palm, even though a part of him is amused as fuck.]

Dirk? Sometimes you're too smart for your own good. Like right now, because you're overthinking it and taking me too seriously. Do I really need to spell it out for you?

_{[An awkward beat.]}

Actually, that would clarify things for me a lot.

[He really just thinks you're being too precious for your're own good. And that doesn't happen often.]

I'm saying that you're one smartass motherfucker. Probably the smartest kid I've ever known.

[He pauses and then there's a stage whisper.]

I think you might even be smarter than me. But shhh.

_{[Wow, Dirk couldn't feel more flustered and flattered and all these good things he doesn't know how to define.]}

I think the latter statement is impossible.

But thank you.

Yeah, but the thing is. You're a Strider, and anything's possible for a Strider.

[He reaches up, curling his fist around towards Dirk. It's a weird angle, but you know what? He's making a fistbump happen anyway.]

_{[He has more leeway in his position, so he makes up for the awkward angle for a a really awesome fistbump.]}

Are you sure? I mean, how do you know I'm not a Smith?

_{[Spoiler: he's trying to joke.]}

[Bro affectionately rolls his eyes at Dirk's comment.]

That's a good question. Maybe we'll have to get you tested for Smithitis.

I hope it's not contagious.

Oh fuck, I can feel myself turning into a Smith already. I'm gonna have to get a boring desk job, aren't I?

Yes. You're doomed to a life of normalcy.

I guess now I'm a muggle...

[By this point, they're already in the castle. It won't be too long before they're at Bro's room.]

So long Hogwarts, it was fun.

_{[Dirk knows this, but he still isn't practicing good volume control. Ooops.]}

You will surely be missed! But hurry, Mr Smith, fifteen centimetres of paperwork awaits you!

Dude, you've got to switch over to inches. You're too British. I think you need some good old homestyle country cookin' to wash away all that fish and chips in your blood.

But inches don't make sense.

Does haggis count as country cooking? I don't particularly care for it.

Please. It's cornbread and chicken where I come from.

[Bro quoting shitty country music 2k12.]

Edited 2012-09-17 23:03 (UTC)

Cornbread is gross.

_{[That went over his head.]}

Yeah, it is.

[He'll let it slide. Because he actually kinda hates country food.]

What kinda food do you actually like, anyway?

I dunno. Food that's not... gross? I'm not picky.

_{[He is.]}

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Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

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