Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

[plushaeusrumpified]

[OOC: Submit Homework Here]

Alright listen up, sproglets. And I mean that in the most loving way possible, so calm yourselves. ML starts Monday and before we dive headfirst into the fucking ins and outs of squeaking like a Mermaid and making orgasmic Troll noises, I need to see how you all can handle the English language.

Look up. First thing you see, write a rap about it. Six inches long, due Monday. If you're late, I'm kicking you out of my class. No exceptions, no second chances.

[Filtered to Dirk and Dave]

sup.
hows class goin.
you kids stayin outta trouble and shit?
gimme all the deets.
aint nobody given you any trouble are they?

also i may or may not have to talk to you guys about a thing one of these days but.
no rush.
but yeah ^ see above answer the questions all that jazz.

[Filtered to Vriska]

Hey. How's shit going? I haven't heard much out of you in a few weeks and just thought I'd check in.

Comments

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He can't help but let out a laugh at that, because gosh Dirk. Way to miss the point of it, which was supposed to be a compliment on your intelligence.]

Please, I'd retire now if you thought you could handle the class.

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He still doesn't get it. SORRY BRO.]}

Unfortunately that isn't the case. Otherwise I wouldn't even be enrolled in your class. I don't understand why you would even say that when I lack all the qualifications, even in a hypothetical sense.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He has to resist the urge to face palm, even though a part of him is amused as fuck.]

Dirk? Sometimes you're too smart for your own good. Like right now, because you're overthinking it and taking me too seriously. Do I really need to spell it out for you?

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[An awkward beat.]}

Actually, that would clarify things for me a lot.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He really just thinks you're being too precious for your're own good. And that doesn't happen often.]

I'm saying that you're one smartass motherfucker. Probably the smartest kid I've ever known.

[He pauses and then there's a stage whisper.]

I think you might even be smarter than me. But shhh.

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Wow, Dirk couldn't feel more flustered and flattered and all these good things he doesn't know how to define.]}

I think the latter statement is impossible.




But thank you.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, but the thing is. You're a Strider, and anything's possible for a Strider.

[He reaches up, curling his fist around towards Dirk. It's a weird angle, but you know what? He's making a fistbump happen anyway.]

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He has more leeway in his position, so he makes up for the awkward angle for a a really awesome fistbump.]}

Are you sure? I mean, how do you know I'm not a Smith?

_{[Spoiler: he's trying to joke.]}

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro affectionately rolls his eyes at Dirk's comment.]

That's a good question. Maybe we'll have to get you tested for Smithitis.

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

I hope it's not contagious.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh fuck, I can feel myself turning into a Smith already. I'm gonna have to get a boring desk job, aren't I?

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

Yes. You're doomed to a life of normalcy.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

I guess now I'm a muggle...

[By this point, they're already in the castle. It won't be too long before they're at Bro's room.]

So long Hogwarts, it was fun.

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Dirk knows this, but he still isn't practicing good volume control. Ooops.]}

You will surely be missed! But hurry, Mr Smith, fifteen centimetres of paperwork awaits you!

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Dude, you've got to switch over to inches. You're too British. I think you need some good old homestyle country cookin' to wash away all that fish and chips in your blood.

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

But inches don't make sense.





Does haggis count as country cooking? I don't particularly care for it.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Please. It's cornbread and chicken where I come from.

[Bro quoting shitty country music 2k12.]

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

Cornbread is gross.

_{[That went over his head.]}

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, it is.

[He'll let it slide. Because he actually kinda hates country food.]

What kinda food do you actually like, anyway?

[Filtered]

[givesyouaboner]

I dunno. Food that's not... gross? I'm not picky.

_{[He is.]}