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[givesyouaboner]

Orangina has a problem right now.
She kind of accidentally two tails and she's really confused. She keeps chasing after one of her tails in one direction, then the other touches her opposite side and she starts running around in the other direction.
Is getting "too dizzy" a thing for cats? She hasn't bumped into anything so I don't think she'll get brain damage.

_{[He was doing his homework when he contemplated what it would be like for monkeys to have two prehensile tails. Orangina isn't a monkey but she was the closest animal around. Oops.]}

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[Dirk can tell he shouldn't have mentioned that. He's not sure why it's something he should've have mentioned though. He just assumes Bro isn't happy because of the reason the engagement is for or something like that. He knows he has limited information on the subject and he knows this isn't the time to inquire. It's not his business, anyway. Besides, it might end up being kind of boring, like a lot of grown up stuff tends to be.

He's more than happy to keep talking though. And the swimming lesson is definitely something he can talk more about.]</sub>

I really do like them. At first, I was really scared and I thought maybe the giant squid would decide to eat me, but then I was like, no way, that's wouldn't be a thing because there's a teacher right there. And Professor Donoghue is a really good swimmer. He wouldn't let something bad happen so that was when I decided I would do my very best to try to learn. It was really weird though, because it's just so different than like... taking a bath.

I definitely need to practise more, so hopefully he will have extra time to give me more lessons. If everything works out, it'll be somewhere in the castle. That would be more convenient. There wouldn't be creatures to eat me and it'd be easier to get to because the lake is kind of far. But I haven't had any more yet.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He didn't mean to let it get to him like that. He can sort of tell that Dirk noticed and it feels a bit bad for nearly harshing his mellow. He doesn't say anything though, because it's then that Dirk starts going again and he listens. It's almost therapeutic listening to him ramble and it's been a while since it's been a thing.

And hearing all these good things about Murdoc is pretty damn nice.]

I can try talking to him and see when he can give you more. He could probably teach you in the Prefect's bathroom or something. That place has a huge bath.

[He pauses for a second, before decided to keep the conversation going. He needs Dirk to keep talking. It makes him feel better.]

You've been behaving and shit, right? I mean, you haven't given him a hard time or anything? Not that I'm doubting you or anything. But he's kinda... I mean, I just don't want him too stressed out, y'know? Because that'd suck. And stress probably makes his back problems worse or something and then he'd have to go bother the nurses for a massage and it'd really just be a huge inconvenience all around...

[He can ramble about Murdoc, too.

Unintentionally.]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Dirk shifts slightly in Bro's lap so he can glance up at him and raise an eyebrow at him. It's only brief, and then he's back into being in a more comfortable position.]}

I didn't know he had back problems. But. No, I don't think I do? I mean, I'm pretty sure he'd tell me if I was stressing him out or being annoying, and he hasn't said anything like that at all so I think it's okay right now. He implied before that I'm not as bad as other.... people. I don't know. But I try to be on my best behaviour anyway because it's not like anyone's making him help me so I don't want to come off as ungrateful.

_{[He's not going to mention anything related to the Snow incident. Because he's pretty sure he disappointed everyone with that.]}

[plushaeusrumpified]

[When Dirk looks at him, all he can think to do is shrug. Because really, how's he supposed to explain himself? 'I like this guy too much and I want you to behave for him' just didn't sound right. It didn't sound like himself. Ugh, this was stupid. But whatever, Dirk was talking again and it was fine. When he finished, Bro just smiled lightly.]

Yeah, he's got back problems. They started acting up during o- er, I mean after the swimming lessons he gave everybody. And as for all that other stuff... That's good. I'm proud of you.

[He reaches up and threads his fingers through Dirk's hair, ruffling it slightly.]

[givesyouaboner]

Oh.

Maybe I shouldn't ask him to help me with more lessons again.

_{[HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BACK PAIN.]}

[plushaeusrumpified]

No, that's not what I meant. He taught like... I dunno, fifty kids to swim? It was a lot on him and it just got to him. Give him a couple weeks and then he'll be good as new.

[Especially if Bro gives him massages......]

Don't worry about it though, really. I don't think he'd mind.

[givesyouaboner]

I can wait for him to tell me it's a good time. When I'm better at it, you can see me swim. But I wanna be really good at it.

So I won't drown.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Y'know I could teach you inbetween the lessons with him, right?

[He has... no idea that Dirk thinks he can't swim. So. Yeah, good job getting caught in your lie there, Bro.]

I mean, if you're that excited to learn.

[givesyouaboner]

That wouldn't really be beneficial to either of us, Uncle Dirk.

_{[He pauses.]}

Professor Donoghue told me you didn't know how to swim either.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I-

[Oh... shit.

Okay.]

That was a misunderstanding...

[givesyouaboner]

I wasn't supposed to say anything, but it's okay. I mean, you're pretty much like a superhero. It's okay to have weaknesses.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh Jesus Christ no.

He didn't want to tell him the truth. That much he was certain of. But goddamn his pride just wasn't going to let that be a thing that Dirk thought.]

Dirk I can swim just goddamn fine, seriously. I can prove it right now by going and jumping in the lake.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[This makes Dirk's eyes widen.]}

Don't be reckless!

[plushaeusrumpified]

I've been able to swim since I was like five!

[He brings his hands up to massage his temples, shaking his head slightly. This wasn't going in the direction he wanted it toooooo.

It wasn't that he wanted to hide things from Dirk, it was just. He didn't even know what he and Murdoc were. Or were going to be. If it was going to be any goddamn thing.

Did he want it to be? Yes. Was it going to be? He had no idea. Fuck it all.]

It's complicated.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Dirk is quiet for even longer this time. He's fumbling over a response because he's so confused and he's not sure how feels about that at all.]}








Then why would you lie about that?

[plushaeusrumpified]

It's like I just said, it's complicated.

[And he knows that isn't a proper answer and that it'll only make Dirk more curious. Or worse, sad that he won't talk to him about it. Ugh, fuck. Fuck this situation sideways, it was never meant to be about him.]

Because... I dunno, I wanted to get to know him better? It seemed easier than inviting him over for tea and crumpets.

[givesyouaboner]

You don't like tea and crumpets.



Why didn't you just tell him you wanted to hang out? Discuss lessons or whatever teachers talk about?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because...

[Because ugh he can't say that's why.]

Because I'm a manipulative bastard who can't be frank with somebody so I had to go around my elbow to get to my ass instead of just telling the truth.

[Relevant to so many things right now.]

[givesyouaboner]

That seems really dumb if you're just trying to make friends with someone.

_{[He shrugs.]}

But I don't really know how I even got the friends I have so my opinion on it really isn't valid.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[See now there's something he can grasp onto. There's something that can swaaay the subject away from him and his fucked up excuse for a romantic life.]

Excuse me, but that's some bullshit. I know exactly how you got the friends you have. By being your goddamn awesome sugoi as fuck self, that's how. You think anyone would be friends with you if you were at maximum awesomeocity? Nope. So it's all on you, bro. You're the cool kid, it is you.

[givesyouaboner]

I really don't think that's the case. I'm not that cool. If anything it's just a matter of fortunate circumstances. Because then I would've had friends at my old school, but I never did there. Not that I tried. Because the kids there were just kind of dumb and I inherently hated them. But then I wonder if it actually wasn't that, considering I was going to a private school and they were supposedly smart too. Maybe I just inherently disliked them.

But I think this is straying from what we were talking about.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Nope. Nope he's just going to disregard that last bit.]

See the thing is though, that was an uppity private school with a bunch of dumbass stick in the mud nerds. It's like you said, you hated them. They weren't even worthy of you. But here there are actually some cool people. Not as cool as us, but they're cool enough to realize you're cool. Which makes them worthy of being your friends. Not like the shitheads at your old school.

Does what I'm saying make any sense? I mean it's just basic cool rules and shit.

[givesyouaboner]

This is a good argument, or it would be, if I was actually cool. The thing about this place is everyone already knows you and Dave so my coolness is by association only.

I don't mind that, it just makes that statement you made incorrect.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Dude, I was here maybe... fuck. A month before you even came? They didn't have time to see how awesome I am. And okay yeah, Dave's been here a while but I honestly don't think you're riding the coattails of his coolness, man. Any friends you have are purely from your own awesome, not his. Definitely not mine.

Because spoiler alert; everyone hated me when I get here.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Okay, you got him with that argument. Time to turn that right back around.]}

Why would anyone hate you?