Bro Strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sortinghat_rp2012-11-10 03:07 am
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in sortinghat_rp2012-11-10 03:07 am
11 Smuppets; Text
33 sucks.
Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.
There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.
We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.
Someone invent a spell for that.
filtered
And theeen...]
wwhy are you doin this
[wait no thats not specific enough. Or vague enough.]
wwhat does my father seriously see in you
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Bro wasn't expecting that. Bro was not expecting that at all. It actually comes as a pretty big punch in the gut. Of course he shouldn't have been surprised, because he knew Eridan's feelings were in relation to this. But he didn't realize that specifically. And he already wonders the same thing himself sometimes, so seeing that just.
Overall makes him feel pretty crappy.]
I don't know.
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The truth is-- he just hates that things have gone completely 180 even before he started his fourth year, and he's terrified of all of this change and everything that goes with it. He wants to be happy for his dad, but at the same time he cannot find himself being as happy as he should be, or something. He doesn't KNOW what he should be feeling at all.
He tries to reply, but most of it is just coming out as inkblots and scratches.]
oh
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Yeah.
I honestly can't begin to fathom what he sees in me, man. I wish I did.
I can answer your first question, though. If you want me to, anyway.
If you don't, then the short answer is that I'm selfish.
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thats not exactly the best answwer
i wwas actually tryin to just say the second question in the first one and it just came out as vvague as it could
but
selfish
meanin you just wwant him or somethin like that i mean im bein honest i dont understand wwhat you mean by just bein selfish
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And no, that's not exactly what I meant.
I just mean that it would be easier, if I walked away. It would be easier for him, for you, and for a whole lot of other people I'm sure. I'm selfish because even though I know that, I just can't stay away. I don't want to stay away.
I dunno what to say without sounding oozing more sap than a goddamn pine tree all over this journal, so I guess bear with me here. He makes me happy, though. There're old wounds that... actually feel like they might be healing when I'm with him. I haven't felt this way about anybody in over 14 years. He makes me feel like I'm a person.
God, when I put it like that I sound really fucking stupid, sorry.
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and he feels like a complete asshole, for everything. Especially what with the other conversation going on with his own father right now, he just... he feels awful.
He feels awful and he doesn't want to admit it.]
no thats not stupid
thats actually the opposite thats
i dont knoww howw to evven put it but thats
thats just not stupid thats
[that's something i'm jealous of in some stupid way]
thats fuckin lovve if i could evver think of it
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Trying is the operative word.
Because somehow things just keep going back to it. Like when he slipped up and nearly wrote it in Murdoc's journal entry that one time. And now here, with Eridan. If there's anything that his more recent talk with Murdoc proved, it's that his feelings definitely do run deep. Deeper than he has the courage to admit. But... the more he's faced with this scenario, the easier it's beginning to be to face it.
It's terrifying, but even so he still doesn't have it in him to walk away. In fact, as weird as it is, the more he's faced with it the less he can ever imagine walking away.]
I think you're right. I mean...
I don't think it's there yet.
But I think it's close. At least for me.
Is that ok?
I'm not saying I'll walk away if it isn't. Because I fucking can't.
But I don't want you to always resent me for it.
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i dont knoww alright im still
this isnt neww to me but i just
its not somethin that i admit that ill be alright wwith just like that
and im not sure i wwont not resent you for it right noww i just
im fourteen i havve no idea wwhat im expectin in this
[Bro, be happy. He never admits these things to people out loud, especially to those who aren't like... his really good friends.]
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I understand. If it helps, I really am sorry for making everything difficult.
But there are no expectations from you. At least not from me. I'll just be happy if we could get along one day is all. That's about it, and that's not even an expectation, it's a hope.