11 Smuppets; Text

[plushaeusrumpified]

Leave me here to die

33 sucks.

Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.

There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.

We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.

Someone invent a spell for that.

Comments

[xanthous]

Are you having a birthday crisis?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Someone, and I'm not naming any names, is putting the ass in assumption.

[wwistful]

So you'd prefer 50, correct?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He will find you and he will kick you in the nads]

I like my numbers at or below 32. 50 is just as fugly.

[greenmoonrising]

Right.

Happy Birthday sir. :)

[plushaeusrumpified]

50 points from Ravenclaw for that heinous lie.

[filter]

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

You're still a baby, what are you complaining about?

Happy Birthday sweetheart - stop by the Hospital Wing and we can have a celebration drink to calm you down.

[filter]

[plushaeusrumpified]

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

[clockspinner]

it looks like butts

[Filtered]

happy birthday dad

[plushaeusrumpified]

what no it

oh it does.

[Filtered]

i



thanks.

i guess.

[allisnotlost]

33 is nothin

[plushaeusrumpified]

33 is everything.

Everything that is horrible and disgusting and useless in this world

[itsintheblood]

Did you write this after noticing a wrinkle?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Isn't it a little nosy of you to be asking about other people's wrinkles? Should we talk about how many inches lower the twins are compared to last year?

Text

[tomatatas]

I'm sure there's a potion to help with wrinkles. Your freak out suggests you need it.

Text

[plushaeusrumpified]

I do not need a wrinkle potion, I'm smooth as a freaking baby.

[bubblingover]

Will you be like t)(is w)(en you turn 34?

[plushaeusrumpified]

What? I have no idea what you're even talking about.

[seeringlight]

But now all the tears and blood I put into knitting this 33 scarf is for naught. :(
I worked so hard on it too. My hard work suddenly invalid.
How could you do this to me?

[Filtered]

I have a gift for you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm so sorry. If you'd have told me you were wasting your time on such a disgusting piece of work, I would've told you so.

[He really hopes there isn't actually a scard, because then he would feel kinda shitty.

Filtered]

Rose, you didn't have to get me anything.

[notthebee2]

holy 2hiit.

[ Purposeful ink blots. ]

everybody run for the hill2 before we catch old man cootiie2.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nerd cooties travel faster than old man cooties.

[accioleggings]

YOU DO KNOW I'VE BEEN 33 FOR SIX MONTHS, DON'T YOU, STRIDER? IT'S REALLY NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK IT IS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. :)

[plushaeusrumpified]

I don't get why everyone seems to think it's my birthday. It's not my birthday. I'm sure it's someone's birthday today that deserves birthday wishes, so go find them. I'm not that guy.

[Filtered]

[wavesofjade]

I Have Something For You Dear.
If You Wouldnt Mind Popping By My Quarters This Evening.

I Havent Made A Fuss.
I Promise.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Seriously?

You really didn't have to get me anyway. I mean, weren't you supposed to pretend you don't know when my birthday is? Buying me something really isn't conducive to that.

[cantstarvethisfire]

What's the irony of the number 7?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Don't you have something more important to be doing besides harassing me for lessons in irony?

[givesyouaboner]

It's better than twelve.
Did you like the book?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'd take being 12 over theoretically being 33 any day of the week.

And yeah, I did. It was pretty damn awesome, so thanks.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Look on the bright side, Professor, you can always look forward to the incontinence knickers.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I hear girls reach that stage way faster than guys.

[notapigeon]

Invent a spell, huh?

Will I get extra credit if I do?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yes.

If you succeed I'll give you 100 points to Gryffindor, too.