sortinghat_rp | 11 Smuppets; Text

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11 Smuppets; Text

~~Leave me here to die~~

33 sucks.

Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.

There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.

We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.

Someone invent a spell for that.

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[Don't roll your eyes at him, that's rude.]

Alright then. I'll just be here with no idea where we are and where we're going. All hope rests in your hands. Don't let me down, kiddo.

We're going to be lost forever. I don't know if I'm looking forward to that or dreading never coming back to school.

[She stops at the corner and looks at the signs.] Glorious news. I know where we are. What a miracle.

You know, normal people would be excited at the prospect of possibly not being able to go back to school.

Do I come off as a simpleton? I hate to look like an idiot.

[And at least if people don't like her for her, they'll like her for her smarts.

But she's already heading down the street.]

Honestly, even if you didn't go to school a day in your life, I don't think it's fucking possible for you to come off as a simpleton.

[He follows along next to her, keeping up with her pace easily.]

So what's this place we're going to like, anyway?

I take the title Know-It-All as an achievement, thank you very much.

[She is semi-distracted, making sure that they don't actually end up lost.] It's a small place. Sometimes they have music playing by local artists. It's very nice in my opinion. It isn't like larger places where you want to just go in to get your coffee and leave.

It's the best achievement, clearly.

[He's semi-not distracted, except maybe for trolling Rose lightly as they walk.]

That sounds like a pretty nice place. Better than Starbucks, anyway. How'd you manage to find it? Doesn't really sound like your mother's cup of tea.

[A bar would be more up her alley.]

I have a badge of honor for it even.

[Wow. Rude.]

It was a rainy day, which is rather common here I found, but we needed to find shelter until the rain let up a bit. We came upon here and stayed while we waited for the rain and mother and I were enchanted by the little place.

Sounds like you lucked out, then.

[He gives her shoulder a small nudge.]

Not to get all sappy and shit, but I'm glad you and I are doin' this.

Would you not rather do this with your sons? In case my feminine charms are throwing your masculinity off.

[She shoves him gently and runs slightly ahead.] It's rude to roughhouse such a poor damsel like myself!

Hey-

[He stops and lets out a laugh as she runs ahead. Oh hell no. He runs after her and wraps his arms around to, catching her and pulling her into a hug from behind.]

Excuse me, but sometimes it's good to get in touch with your feminine side.

[She squirms a bit, a very halfhearted attempt to try and get out of his arms. She let's out a gentle laugh, looking up at him.]

I'm sure I have lipstick that would just positively be the perfect shade for you.

[Nope, not gonna let her go. This moment's too good to pass up, after all. How often does she let physical affection pass? Not often. He looks down at her with a smile.]

Really now, and what shade would that be? C'mon, gotta know what colour suits me, after all. I'd hate to go 'round wearing lipstick that's the wrong shade.

[She gently punches him. Not hard enough to hurt, obviously. You're big sweaty arms are gross, Bro!]

Probably an orange. Or something that contrasts with your eyes, like blues.

[It's cold, he isn't sweaty! But he does pull off and rubs his arm, looking as if she punched him harder than she did, and gives her a pouty look.]

What was that for?

And what's the point of contrasting my eyes when you can't ever see them, eh?

[She rolls her eyes. You're such a baby!]

For you being silly. That was hardly a punch and you know it.

What if you want to impress someone? Give them a little sneak peek if you're feeling mischievous. It really gets the blood going. Give them a wink. They're all yours.

[But he's your baby daddy-

Wait.

You know what this narrative means.]

And just how exactly do you know so much about this, Rose? You been winking at people that I should know about?

Edited (I read it wrong shut up) 2013-04-05 22:32 (UTC)

I have winked at so many people! So many fallen underneath my winking charms. Did you not know?

I've turned into a harlot. I can't be stopped. Goodbye my chaste life as a nun!

Rose, no, don't be silly. The nunnery will take you back! They'll forgive you of these transgressions and you'll be back on the path of holy righteousness in no time. I will fucking pay them money to take you back. It's okay. You don't have to worry about being a promiscuous winker anymore!

Too late. I have walked down this path I have chosen. All the winks will be made.

Oh, we're here.

We'll continue this discussion later. Mark my words.

[He'll open the door for her then, before following in after her.]

[It's a small little place. It's not pitch black, but it is a little darker than outside, which is actually nice to be honest. There's some nice jazz music playing in the background and it smells of cakes and coffee.]

Of course.

[He idly leads the way over to a table, taking in the sight of the place as he does so. It's a lot nicer than he expected, and the jazz is a good change from the usual pop that coffee places usually have.]

You've got pretty good taste in coffee joints, Rosie.

[Rose looks over the menu in the meantime.]

Of course I do. Would you have expected any less from me? Now are you going to give me second hand embarrassment with opening your present or do I live another day being free of such thoughts of my father ruining my life like the scorned teenager I am.

[Bro also looks at the menu, but when she speaks, he looks down at his present. Ah yes, it's nearly time to open it, isn't it?]

I think I'll go the second hand embarrassment option. Order me whatever's good here, I'm gonna go find us a seat then I'll open it.

[And after handing Rose some cash, he goes off to sit at a table.]

11 Smuppets; Text

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