1 frightening fauna

[golgotha]

The adventurers guide to the galaxy. London strain. Tomb hunter. European treasure?? Fisticuffs!! Oh blimey Scrums The lost skull Fisticuffs is actually a viable journal name No

Weekend at dangers
a Jake English journal

January 06 2012: A grand opening indeed.

Ahoy my good chaps! Lovely weather today aint it? My name is jake english as aforementioned. I am a fifth year hailing from the noble house of gryffindor. From this day henceforth this is officially now my journal! Or "wizard blog" as all the kids here call it these days.

Here i will recount all my smashing adventures -- tales of heroisms, intrigue, action, adventure and perhaps even romance. *A hearty wink for all the lovely ladies out there* It will be a primary source for all my peers out there fresh off the press!! I can tell this will be very gripping and i bet my bottom boonbuck you lot would also have a spanking ripsnorter of a time reading this.

Now onto the swashbuckling adventures!!

A couple weeks ago i brought out my arms and set off towards the one ruin of the island i reside in. The weather was rather harsh that afternoon. The rain splashed all over my face with an almost cruel intensity to make up for the absence of snows chilly ferocity. The sky was getting dark and the frightening fauna were sure to scour the area with blood lust in their eyes. It was as if the world was weaving an intricate web to deter me from my journey what with the way its coming together in perfect harmony to piss me the fuck off. Alas it did not win!! I gripped my pistols tighter and trudged on and persevered.

I reached the ruin at about seven. Hungry tired and excited i entered. The inside was pitch black. Luckily taking a page from ms lara croft the famous archeologist i came prepared with a flashlight. What did i find?

Friggin canned goods. The cans look so bloody old that it makes one wonder if the ancient mayans had can openers already. I went home disheartened and with an arm full of carrots and peas in a can. And then i played weekend at bernies in my dvd player! Have you guys watched it? If not i strongly suggest it. Its so friggin hilarious.

Comments

[thornsofoglogoth]

I had a spanking ripsnorter of a time indeed.
I suggest you ingest the contents of those cans forthwith and sample the ancient preserved produce. It will be like consuming history. Literally.

[ificanmince]

Quite the story, my friend!

[fashioneighsta]

You did all of that during the holiday? What an adventure indeed... though I doubt you'll be able to do the same at Hogwarts.

[selfhatred]

I CALL BULLSHIT.

[fuckmackandme]

your island sounds so cool!!

[yerawwizarderi]

wwhat the flippin fuck
are you tryin to be fuckin funny or clevver or is this some kind a wweird artistic rubbish
livvin out mad muggle comics and wwhatnot

[nunganunga_k_o]

Most people here are utterly clueless to muggle things, I don't think they know what a blog is.

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[Inkblots. Holy shit you are one badass dude.]

Wow

[bluhbluhhugewitch]

Wow, really? I can't 8elieve I just w8sted time reading that.
8ut who puts vegeta8les in cans?