1 frightening fauna

[golgotha]

The adventurers guide to the galaxy. London strain. Tomb hunter. European treasure?? Fisticuffs!! Oh blimey Scrums The lost skull Fisticuffs is actually a viable journal name No

Weekend at dangers
a Jake English journal

January 06 2012: A grand opening indeed.

Ahoy my good chaps! Lovely weather today aint it? My name is jake english as aforementioned. I am a fifth year hailing from the noble house of gryffindor. From this day henceforth this is officially now my journal! Or "wizard blog" as all the kids here call it these days.

Here i will recount all my smashing adventures -- tales of heroisms, intrigue, action, adventure and perhaps even romance. *A hearty wink for all the lovely ladies out there* It will be a primary source for all my peers out there fresh off the press!! I can tell this will be very gripping and i bet my bottom boonbuck you lot would also have a spanking ripsnorter of a time reading this.

Now onto the swashbuckling adventures!!

A couple weeks ago i brought out my arms and set off towards the one ruin of the island i reside in. The weather was rather harsh that afternoon. The rain splashed all over my face with an almost cruel intensity to make up for the absence of snows chilly ferocity. The sky was getting dark and the frightening fauna were sure to scour the area with blood lust in their eyes. It was as if the world was weaving an intricate web to deter me from my journey what with the way its coming together in perfect harmony to piss me the fuck off. Alas it did not win!! I gripped my pistols tighter and trudged on and persevered.

I reached the ruin at about seven. Hungry tired and excited i entered. The inside was pitch black. Luckily taking a page from ms lara croft the famous archeologist i came prepared with a flashlight. What did i find?

Friggin canned goods. The cans look so bloody old that it makes one wonder if the ancient mayans had can openers already. I went home disheartened and with an arm full of carrots and peas in a can. And then i played weekend at bernies in my dvd player! Have you guys watched it? If not i strongly suggest it. Its so friggin hilarious.

Comments

[thornsofoglogoth]

I had a spanking ripsnorter of a time indeed.
I suggest you ingest the contents of those cans forthwith and sample the ancient preserved produce. It will be like consuming history. Literally.

[golgotha]

I did consume those canned goods actually.
Food is rather hard to come by in an island so i always make due with what i have just like a real explorer!! Though if one is to be perfectly truthful then one must admit that byzantine canned goods and shot and fried boars get a bit old.
Anyway they were scrumptious if not stale and i will happily eat more of them.

[thornsofoglogoth]

It seems you know what you're doing. How bodes your stomach in the face of centuries-old victuals?
Perhaps you ought to preserve them for a day on which you are incapable of shooting boars. Additionally, you could always ask those of us who live in the civilised world to send you an owl full of supplemental nourishment.

I hope you kept the cans.

[ificanmince]

Quite the story, my friend!

[golgotha]

Isnt it!!

You really must join me sometime my good bro.

[ificanmince]

I just may take you up on that!

[fashioneighsta]

You did all of that during the holiday? What an adventure indeed... though I doubt you'll be able to do the same at Hogwarts.

[golgotha]

Too true. Its a bit of a puzzling conundrum that i am just boggling to solve.

Perhaps i will try my hand at quidditch if there are spots left open! Besides that i havent the faintest idea. The floor is now open for suggestions and the like! After all sitting around and gathering dust is definitely not on my itinerary let me tell you.

[fashioneighsta]

Well, quidditch is an exciting game, although it will only serve to make you hungrier.

Beyond that, might I suggest a creative project?

[selfhatred]

I CALL BULLSHIT.

[golgotha]

What!! That is a preposterous accusation. All my stories are 100% true. Ask jade!

[selfhatred]

FIRST OFF, ASKING SOMEONE TO BACK YOU UP IS IMMEDIATE KNOWLEDGE THAT MY CALL OF BULLSHIT WAS TRUE.
SECONDLY, CANNED FOOD HAVE ONLY BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 1800S.
THIRDLY, WEEKEND AT BERNIES IS A SHITCROCK OF A MOVIE.

[fuckmackandme]

your island sounds so cool!!

[golgotha]

Thats because it is!!! Nary a dreary day passes by in that place as it never fails to entice you with the thrill of the hunt and adventures aplenty.

My only concern is that perhaps it is TOO awesome!!!!!

[fuckmackandme]

no way!
that island sounds like it's just the so awesome it can't even be too awesome!!
like armageddon!

[yerawwizarderi]

wwhat the flippin fuck
are you tryin to be fuckin funny or clevver or is this some kind a wweird artistic rubbish
livvin out mad muggle comics and wwhatnot

[golgotha]

What!! Its not!
I know on the surface it sounds like a load of poppycock like im some loon tryin to feed everyone a spoonful of lies but rest assured my stories are 100% true.

[yerawwizarderi]

rest assured i got nothin but skepticism for that pile a stinkin rubbish thats wwhat ill rest assured on
course youd say youvve done it you wwant the fuckin credit

[nunganunga_k_o]

Most people here are utterly clueless to muggle things, I don't think they know what a blog is.

[golgotha]

Indeed? Then perhaps i might be able to begin a trend here!
"Wizard blog" is quite catchy after all.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Quite right. You will have to explain what it is though. And then what a computer is. And then you will have a headache from all of the explaining that must be explained.

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[Inkblots. Holy shit you are one badass dude.]

Wow

[golgotha]

I know.

[bluhbluhhugewitch]

Wow, really? I can't 8elieve I just w8sted time reading that.
8ut who puts vegeta8les in cans?

[golgotha]

*Rolls eyes*
Please. If youve no knack for adventure you shouldnt have read it all the way in the first place!
Muggles do! Its quite a popular way to preserve grub really.