One sick beat

[clockspinner]

so yo guess what everybody
its march
means zombie jesus day is coming up too
and with it a chance to go the fuck home

it also means we arent gonna see hide nor hair of the fifth years because theyre too busy giving themselves library suppositories
shit absorbs into the bloodstream faster if taken anally
so bon voyage to them

that was one hell of a match last weekend wasnt it

Comments

[clockspinner]

look whos talking
at least im in the right year for my age

Private; Unhackabull

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

wHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY ABOUT HIM, uH, eXACTLY,

Private; Unhackabull

[clockspinner]

how cute weve got a little white knight here
i thought badgers were supposed to eat snakes
jumping in to defend your boyfriend nitram?

Private; Unhackabull

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHH, i'M NOT A WHITE KNIGHT,,, tHAT WOULD IMPLY THAT i, uH, hAVE A HORSE, wHICH i DON'T,
aND, uHHH, hE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND, i DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU, eVEN THINK THAT, bUT WE'RE ONLY BROS,
uH, bEST BROS EVEN,

Private; Unhackabull

[clockspinner]

you sure youre not chowing down on his trouser snake there little badger
youre awfully defensive of his honor
and in private too not even where he can see it

sounds to me if youre not porking him you wanna be

Private; Unhackabull

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHHH, i AM ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT, i'M NOT, nOR WILL i EVER BE DOING ANYTHING WITH, uH, hIS TROUSER SNAKE,
eSPECIALLY CHEWING, bECAUSE i THINK THAT WOULD HURT,
i MEAN, hE DOESN'T EVEN OWN A SNAKE, sO WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS CONVERSATION,

uHHH, wHAT'S WRONG WITH DOING THIS, pRIVATELY, wHERE NO ONE CAN SEE IT, i DON'T THINK IT'S ANYONE ELSES, uM, bUSINESS,

i DON'T EVEN LIKE PORK, sO LET'S GET BACK ON THE SUBJECT, uH, pLEASE,
i DON'T THINK i LIKE, wHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING ABOUT HIS, uH, iNTELLIGENCE,

Private; Unhackabull

[clockspinner]

look i know youre almost slow enough to get held back yourself
so im gonna use small words to make sure you understand

i dont trust anyone who wasnt bright enough to pass their first year of pointing a wand at things and saying magic words
i mean shit its not like were learning rocket science

now move along junior and go cry in facepaints lap until you feel better
maybe if youre lucky you both will even lose your virginity before youre thirty

Private; Unhackabull

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

yOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY GRADES, aND i THINK YOU SHOULD STOP TRYING TO, uH, iNSULT MY INTELLIGENCE TOO, bECAUSE i CAN UNDERSTAND BIG WORDS JUST FINE,

uHHH, dO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM,
oR ARE YOU JUST MAKING ASSUMPTIONS, bECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE, uH, yOU'RE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS,
tHERE'S THIS THING THEY SAY, uH, aBOUT ASSUMPTIONS,

Private; Unhackabull

[clockspinner]

what that it makes an ass out of you and mptions?
look the facts weve got on him are
he was held back a year
which means he done fucked up somewhere
for those of you playing at home
and hes a slytherin
which means allegedly hes sneaky as fuck
though hell if ive ever seen that from him

point is he doesnt like me and i trust him about as far as you can kick him

Private; Unhackabull

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

hAAAAA, rIGHT, yOU GOT ME THERE,
i SHOULD HAVE, uH, kNOWN THERE WAS NO WAY i COULD, lEAD YOU INTO INSULTING YOURSELF, bUT TO CLARIFY, i THINK YOU'RE BEING KIND OF AN ASS,
jUST SO WE'RE CLEAR ON THAT,
aND IF THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW, aBOUT HIM THEN i CAN, uH, dEFINITELY SAY THAT YOU'RE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS,

[selfhatred]

LOOK WHO'S GOT HIS HEAD SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE CAN SEE SUNLIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE.
SHUT UP, STRIDER, NOBODY WANTS YOUR FUCKING OPINION.

[clockspinner]

look who woke up on the wet side of the bed this morning
rough night vantas

[selfhatred]

ONLY BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T FUCKING SOUNDPROOF YOUR CURTAINS WHILE YOU FUCKED YOURSELF.
AND IT WAS FUCKING DRY, GODDAMNIT.

[clockspinner]

hey its not my fault not even your own hand is willing to fuck you
ouch sounds painful sorry to hear that bro

[selfhatred]

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU AND THE GODDAMN ASSHOLE THAT FUCKING RAISED YOU.

[clockspinner]

thats a real compelling argument there vantas
and bringing bro into it too shit you really mean business dont you

[mo_cara]

wElL, hElL, mOtHeRfUcKeR, i DiDn'T kNoW tHaT hAd ShIt AlL tO dO wItH tAkInG iT uP tHe AsS.
lEaRn SoMeThInG nEw EvErY dAy.

[clockspinner]

maybe you should try fighting your own battles chucklefuck
instead of letting your boyfriends get caught in the crossfire

[mo_cara]

WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK bE cOmInG oUt Of YoUr PrOtEiN cHuTe NoW?
cAuSe It Is MaKiNg EvEn LeSs SeNsEwIsE tHaN uSuAl.

[clockspinner]

okay i know one of them decided to be all secretive and shit
but if you had functioning eyes youd see that my own roommate is crawling head and shoulders up my asshole

anyway i dont even actually care makara
you got anything important to say

[mo_cara]

oH, mAn, I jUsT tHoUgHt YoU wAs AlL tRyInG tO cOmE oN tO hIm.
My BaD, bRo!

[clockspinner]

yeah right
vantas is a piece of work

you done yet makara

[mo_cara]

DaMn, YoU'rE rIgHt, He Is a MoThErFuCkIn WoRk Of ArT, fOr SuRe.
I gUeSs ThAt PuTs HiM oUtTa YoUr LeAgUe, BuT i CaN't BlAmE a MoThErFuCkEr FoR tRyInG!

[clockspinner]

oh wow that was so funny im about to shit
really makara
ill be surprised if he doesnt spontaneously combust before hes 20
but hey its hard to see the flaws when youve got a little homocrush

you just better pick which one of your little puppydogs tails you wanna chase
before i crush hot wheels in front of the whole school tomorrow

[mo_cara]

what the motherfuck are you talking about