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[rule_britannia]

Two weeks at home.

Two weeks managing to avoid getting a black eye.

It was nice while it lasted.

Bloody wankers.

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

I suppose that works out, as the intention wasn't to impress you or anything along those lines at all.
My previous intentions were already made clear, but that's foregone.
Sure thing, call me out as being pathetic.
I'm not the one who's too much of a chicken to stand up for myself.

[rule_britannia]

And this brings us right back around to the first item of your stupidity.
You don't know my situation.

[givesyouaboner]

Perhaps you should offer some clarification.
Or I'll keep assuming you habitually get your ass kicked and enjoy it.

[rule_britannia]

Give me one good reason why I should want to explain anything about my home life to you.

[givesyouaboner]

As I said, I could offer some pointers.
Surely you've wanted to dabble in some vengeance from time to time.

[rule_britannia]

I doubt you could suggest anything I haven't already tried.

[givesyouaboner]

Have you peed in their apple juice?

[rule_britannia]

When I was far younger than you.
I don't have enough of a death wish to try that again.

[givesyouaboner]

You should be stealthy, then. Turn them against each other and remain in the clear.

[rule_britannia]

...

Alright.

You have my attention.

[givesyouaboner]

Even the best of teams can be torn apart by simple means. Is there something that they envy each other for?
Perhaps it's a favourite possession that one of them guards and doesn't let anyone else even touch?
You've gotta get your timing just right for this. All you need to do is get it to the other's room and choose a spot that's in plain view but unnoticeable at the same time.
It's really a basic and conventional form of framing someone else, but as long as you leave no evidence that they can use to blame you.
Make sure you have an alibi, as well.
If everything goes smoothly, instead of the negative attention being placed on you, you'll get to view a full-on brawl among them.

[rule_britannia]

Hah.

There's only one thing they care about enough to fight over like that.
And it isn't something I can manipulate.

[givesyouaboner]

What is it?

[rule_britannia]

Our father's approval.

[givesyouaboner]

Well.
In that case, you need to make yourself the favourite.

[rule_britannia]

I thought this was about not drawing attention to myself, kid.
Besides, he's never cared for me.

[givesyouaboner]

Well then.
I'm certainly at a loss of what to tell you, unless you want to replace their shampoo with Nair.

[rule_britannia]

...

Hah.

Yes.

[givesyouaboner]

It'd certainly bring them down a peg or two.

[rule_britannia]

They'd certainly know it was me.
But the bruises would be gone long before their hair grew back.

[givesyouaboner]

It sounds like it'd be worth it.

[rule_britannia]

I'll give it some thought.
Maybe I can get away with it, too.

[givesyouaboner]

Let me know how that works out for you.