Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Have you met my mother?

How could I not agree?

[bev_rage]

i dont know ur mum tho

[plushaeusrumpified]

Consider yourself lucky.

[bev_rage]

y?
how ba dcan she be?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[There's an inkblot or two, but those could mean anything.]

So am I gonna pull some strings for you to take my class or what?

[bev_rage]

[Iiiiinteresting. She'll have to stick her nose in this later.]

y!!!!

[plushaeusrumpified]

Good.





Uh, you're gonna have to try and work on your spelling though, sweetheart.

[bev_rage]

xcuse u i can spell perfercly perfectly fin when i want 2

[plushaeusrumpified]

Mhm.

Can I maybe see, please?

[bev_rage]

See? I can make my spelling and grammar just as neat and pretentious as Dirk.

[Her handwriting, however, is still atrocious.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Wow, rude. He's not pretentious. Do you even know what that means? I bet you don't. Don't say mean things about your biffliepoosle or whatever you call him.

But anyway, A+ effort. Just gotta work on that handwriting and you'll be good to go.

[bev_rage]

I'm saying it as his bffsy and in the most loving way possible.
He writes pretentious as fuck when he gets going.

Pretentious: Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent or culture than is actually possessed.
My mum is an author with a huge vocabulary, don't underestimate my mad knowledge of big words.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm calling bullshit, you've totally got a websters sitting next to you.

[bev_rage]

the flat dosn't evn have a dicktionary

[plushaeusrumpified]

What the hell happened to my dictionary?

[bev_rage]

idk mbe gina shrededd it

[plushaeusrumpified]

[You can literally hear his facepalm.]

[bev_rage]

[And he can probably hear her laughing from the other room.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well if that doesn't rustle his jimmies.]

Shut your face! You owe me a new goddamn dictionary because you're the reason we have a cat in the first place!

[bev_rage]

Don't be such a tight ass, I was kidding. I don't know where it is.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm not being a goddamn tightass! That dictionary's just...

It's important to me.

[bev_rage]

...It's a dictionary.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Instead of yelling through the house, he slowly gets up and makes his way to where Roxy is at. It's a really good thing he's wearing his shades, because there's so many emotions behind them in his eyes.]

I've had that dictionary for twenty years. David gave it to me when I first started rapping.

[It's obvious his voice is strained and he's trying his best to sound calm.]

[bev_rage]

[Well now she feels bad for teasing.]

Oh.

Sorry. I didn't know. I really don't know where it disappeared to, I didn't even know you had one.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yeah you should. Except not really, he can't be mad at that face.]

Did anyone mess with it during the party?