Seven Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'

Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.

But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.

Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.

Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.

Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.

Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Screw your dad, we're talking about you and your lack of heterosexuality now.

[fuckmackandme]

... what.

[plushaeusrumpified]

What what in the butt?

[fuckmackandme]

i should have just made that stupid pun.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[After a few seconds of staring at John's response, he begins to realize that... he should probably stop. Dave would probably be really fucking unhappy to see all this and if he presses John too hard, it'll just make it worse. He really doesn't want to upset Dave.

Or get fired for harrassment, now that he thinks about it.

But goddamn it this is important. RELATIONSHIPS ARE AT STAKE.

Stupid Egberts and their heterosexuality making things difficult.]

Ok whatever.

Make the pun, I don't care anymore.

[fuckmackandme]

ah, screw it.
it was just some stupid shit about you being the flying teacher and your typing being fly.
and now that you're not the flying teacher anymore, your typing isn't all fly anymore.
but really, the most i think about it, the stupider it is.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Pfft.

Egbert, please.

Work on the wording a little and that would've been flawless.

[fuckmackandme]

a little too obvious though.

[plushaeusrumpified]

It's ironically obvious, so good job. I know you were trying to impress me with irony and you totally succeeded.

[Come on John, he's trying really hard to give you this one. Take it. Even though he knows what he's saying is bullshit and you totally were just being kind of lame.

Take. It.]

[fuckmackandme]

oh, you just say that to everyone you ship dave with.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[... Oh.

Well this is awkward.

He thought John was oblivious to that.

Uhhhhhhh.]

So...

Just you, then.

1/??

[fuckmackandme]

[wat.]

[fuckmackandme]

[there's just... ink drops. Because wat]

Not done yet.

[fuckmackandme]

you actually...

[fuckmackandme]

[wat. More ink. Because how do you even...]

DONE!

[fuckmackandme]

you actually ship me with dave?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He was such a dumbass. Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck. WHY DIDN'T HE REALIZE JOHN WAS KIDDING.

Oh my fucking god. He just keeps fucking all of the things up.]

Now look who's the prank master.

Spoiler: It's me.

[fuckmackandme]

really?
well congrats.
two in one.
that's an achievement.
i hope you can catch dave before he starts peeing.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Haha. Yeah.

Because that's... really not an empty threat. At all.

So I'm gonna.

Go.

And make sure he doesn't do that. Bye.

Accidental voice

[clockspinner]

[What was that high, girlish squeak. That was Dave.]

Bro I will piss on everything you hold dear.

Filtered; Voice- Actually Dave can probably hear him since they're in the same house.

[plushaeusrumpified]

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, OH MY FUCK! I SWEAR!

Re: Filtered; Voice- Actually Dave can probably hear him since they're in the same house.

[clockspinner]

[screeching into the sun brb]

ACCIDENT MY PUBESCENT SCROTUM

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh jesus fucking christ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He didn't mean for this to happen. He really, really didn't. He was actually trying to move AWAY from that subject because of this.

And then it happened anyway.]

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS KIDDING! I THOUGHT HE FUCKING KNEW OR SOMETHING, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

yeah she's just yelling from the futon

[bev_rage]

WHO'S GONNA PEE ON WHAT?

Re: yeah she's just yelling from the futon

[clockspinner]

I'LL PEE ON YOU IF YOU DON'T MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS