Bro Strider (
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in
sortinghat_rp2012-08-08 03:04 pm
Seven Smuppets
Alright everyone gather around, because Bro has an announcement to make for all of you bitches. But first you're probably thinking 'whoa suddenly grammar!'
Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.
But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.
Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.
Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.
Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.
Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.
Yes. That is definitely something that I'm doing now. Because I have a new job.
But don't let your heart break yet, because I'm still here. I'm not actually leaving, so calm your breasts. Okay no, I'm sorry, even though I'm trying to be all fancy, I just can't say that. So calm your tits.
Anyway, yeah. I'm transferring to a new position; I'm your new Magical Languages professor. It's the best fucking new elective Hogwarts has ever had and I'm sure you all wanna join. I have bad news though, because it's only third year and up.
Unless you beg. If you beg, I'm sure I can pull a few strings with Dumblebro. He's a rad guy, considering he actually let me have this position. But yep, that's my announcement. You can go ahead and sign up, just write your name and year and owl it over. That way I can know how many of you to expect.
Also if you have any questions, I guess you can ask. It never hurts to give a few more deets if you're that interested.
Oh and Kishitani, that means I'm a real goddamn Professor now, so if I hear you question that anymore, I'm giving you detention for real.

Re: Filtered
Like the large stacks of paperwork that had come in the mail over the past several months and the oddly timed phone calls where Bro was sounded angry, but Dirk had never hung around long enough to understand the context of what was going on.
There's so much he wants to say but he can't find a way to form it into words so he can only handle the more pressing issue first.]
Why didn't you tell me before?
Filtered
Because.
I wanted to protect you. I didn't wanna make it harder on you than it already was.
[And good job on doing that now, fucko.]
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They wouldn't have wanted me then.
But I wouldn't have wanted to go regardless.
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Just because I'm fighting them over this doesn't mean I want them to fucking disown you.
I don't wanna ruin your relationship with them.
Not like it is with me.
Not like is with Dave.
I'm not selfish enough to hurt you like that.
Because it hurts. It hurts a whole fucking lot.
It's my absolute and total last resort.
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I never see them a lot anyway so it really wouldn't have been a loss.
Dad was irritated with them a lot, I think.
But that part doesn't even matter. It's kinda hard to understand what they're saying sometimes.
Are you winning?
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You have it now. You're not losing it if I can help it.
Don't sweat it.
I've got it under control.
[He's not going to get into the fact that... It's actually starting to become a tough battle. That would just worry Dirk too much and then Dave would find out. No, he's just going to keep the fact that it's been brought up that running a porn site has called into question whether he's a suitable parent. He's not going to bring up the fact that Social Services are probably going to come and question them at some point.
He's not going to tell Dirk that he's scared.]
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Thank you.
The way you say that makes me think it really isn't.
I want to live with you and Dave, not them.
Filtered
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I do.
Can you just promise me that it'll be ok?
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If you had faith in me, you wouldn't need me to make that promise.
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I love you. You know that, right?
You and Dave both. More than anything.
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Whatever.
I love you too.
And Dave and Roxy.
[He really hopes that everything really is okay. He decides in this moment he'd rather run away than to go to Texas.]
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Don't forget Orangina.
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Do I still get to go to Hogwarts?
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Are you sure?
I mean.
I really am here, you can talk to me about anything.
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It's fine.
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There's not much more he can say on the matter. If Dirk still feels like he can't talk to him, then just... Okay.
Cool.]
Ok.
[And that's really all there is to say on the matter. Guess that means the conversation is over.]
Re: Filtered
That isn't to say that there's nothing on his mind, though. His mind is racing. He's scared. He doesn't like change and it was already a change enough to come to live with his uncle. That transition had been smooth enough, but now he's just scared of the idea of being sent off to the other side of the world and being isolated from everyone he cares about.
Even if Bro says that's not going to happen, Dirk has a hard time believing him. That's nothing particularly personal to Bro, it's just the habit he'd developed from the entirety of his childhood. That sort of thing doesn't change over night.
He inhales sharply through his nose and closes the journal. There isn't anything to respond to. He tucks it under his pillow and climbs off the bed before making his way to the kitchen. Fanta is a thing he wants right now.]
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He kept staring at the journal for a long while, before letting out a frustrated groan. He twisted and fell back to lay down across the futon, resting his head on the arm. He didn't realize he was clutching his journal to the point of crumpling up several of the pages until a second or two later. It was around that time that Dirk was coming out of the room and into the kitchen, but he didn't even realize it.
If he'd realized it, he wouldn't have chucked the journal over the back of the futon in frustration like he did. He also wouldn't have buried his face in his hands and let out another groan.]
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He wouldn't have thought much usually; he couldn't see Bro from where he's standing. But he can hear the groan and he's not sure how to interpret it.
After a moment of hesitation, he walks towards the futon. What he wasn't expecting was for the journal to come hurdling toward him. He manages to sidestep it enough there it hits the edge of his shoulder instead of his face. He stares at the journal and then back to the edge of the futon.
He's even more confused now. In a way, he doesn't really feel anything at all. Maybe that's just how much he's bottling up everything.]
Uncle Dirk?
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He just hit Dirk with the fucking journal.
That... really doesn't make him feel better. At all. In fact, it really just makes him feel even shittier than he had before, which was saying a lot.]
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
[Just add child abuse to the list of reasons he'll lose his kids.]
I'm sorry.
[His voice is shaky because now he's thinking about it and it's making him sick and fuck, why does he just keep making mistakes? Why couldn't he just... Not throw the journal. Why couldn't that have been a thing? Fuck.]
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[That's all he can think of to say. Because he's not sure what to think of this reaction. It seems a little much. Just a flippant "oh, sorry, man" seems like a more appropriate reaction.
He can tell something is on Bro's mind, and there's no doubt it's what they were just discussing. Which means maybe things are just as serious as he was thinking. That things weren't really okay.
He can't think of anything else to say, either, so he just topples himself over the back of the futon in a stupid attempt to give his uncle a hug. Because walking around clearly takes too long.]
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