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[rule_britannia]

To anyone who might have heard about my brother Phineas' unfortunate accident and subsequent stay in hospital, mother has informed me that he's perfectly fine now. I'm sure all of those whose lives he has touched with his generosity and gentleness of spirit will be very relieved.

[The sarcasm, it's dripping off the page]

This year is turning out to be rather interesting already, I must say. Magical Languages looks as if it's going to be... enlightening.




Also, I found a copy of Spellman's Syllabary stuck between two chairs in the common room. There's no name in it. I believe I may keep it if no one claims it, so if it's yours, do speak up.

Comments

[thesmallesttrickster]

Ah, was that the snake incident?

Magical Languages looks as if it will be most interesting!

[rule_britannia]

'Snake incident'. Good lord. It sounds like some kind of detective case.

It certainly does, though I'm a little unsure as to the nature of our first homework assignment.

[thesmallesttrickster]

Well, in any case, I wish him a speedy recovery and many misfortunes in his future!

Yes, it is most puzzling. I am apparently to write one of these "raps" about my brother.

[rule_britannia]

About Thor?

Interesting topic. Best of luck with that.

[seeringlight]

I'm glad that he's doing fine.

I don't think enlightening is quite the right word you're looking for.

[rule_britannia]

No?

What word would you use?

[seeringlight]

Obnoxious seems to be a good adjective.
Ridiculous?
Honestly, there's a lot to say about an assignment in which we must present it in the form of something as ludicrous as a rap.

[cantfightthisfire]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that.

[rule_britannia]

About Phineas?

It's utterly dreadful, I know, but there's nothing to be done about it.
He simply insisted upon getting better.

[cantfightthisfire]

Yeah that sounds pretty fucking inconsiderate of him. I dunno, I would've probably staged an accident.

[preanimator]

Pity.

[rule_britannia]

I know.
Very indecent of him to recover like that.

[preanimator]

Why on earth are you taking Magical Languages, Kirkland? Isn't that the class taught by that buffoon in the hat and sun glasses?

[allamericanreject]

Better get a napkin Arthur, I think the sarcasm's starting to stain the paper.

Still I'm glad he's not dead. I'd ask if he's got any brain damage but he's missing one.

[rule_britannia]

Very funny, Alfred.

Though I can't help but wonder if this might encourage him to leave me alone a little more. It can't hurt if he thinks my belongings might attack him at any moment.

[allamericanreject]

That would be a good thing. Even though I doubt the snake's going to be any harm.

Unless you brought it. In which case I can work on it again. If not though, it really was meant to be a harmless present at first. I swear.

[nomorals]

Better watch your sarcasm, Artie, you might kill some butter with it.

[rule_britannia]

I might... what?

In what context does that make sense?

[nomorals]

Never heard of the words 'sarcasm dripping like a hot knife through butter'?

[eighttimeshandy]

Wait, what happened to Phineas? Did someone finally manage to hit him back for once?

[rule_britannia]

There was an accident at home.

He fell and smacked his head on a door handle.

[eighttimeshandy]

Well, that's disappointing. I was hoping for something a little closer to divine retribution. Did he at least lose a tooth?

[speterman]

Best of luck to you.


With your brother and that class.

[rule_britannia]

I don't need luck for the class.

As for Phineas, I don't need to worry about him until Christmas.

Cheers, anyway.

[speterman]

Doesn't mean it's not nice to have?

That's a very charming thing to say about your brother...