[Teacher Filter]

[wwistful]

I understand that it might be a little difficult to handle given that it's only the first week back, but I can't be the only one appalled by the behaviour of the students, can I?

Honestly. It's gotten to the point where detention has become a joke and removing points is a formality. I actually have no idea how I'm meant to deal with the amount of misbehaviour going on when they won't listen to a word I say! A student went so far as to

[Actually. He doesn't really want to announce that.]

It's a little difficult to comprehend. Is there any advice anybody can give me, because I am at a loss here. I think perhaps it's time for a discussion amongst ourselves before things get even more out of hand.


We're much stronger as team than we are individually, in any case.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

I- you think so? I mean... d'you think he's disappointed?

Oh my fuck. Murdoc, come on for fuck's sake. I'm not going to be apathetic, I'm not going to laugh. Is it that embarrassing or something?

Did you get your dick caught in your zipper?

[wwistful]

I think he might be. What a twist.

Yes, that is exactly what happened. It was so concerning, I almost posted it in the middle of a journal entry that has nothing to do with it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh.

[Well. That thought is kind of depressing. Like, extremely... And then there are inkblots, because now he's overthinking it and fuck.

But he's curious, so he'll just keep up with the whole thing, even though he really could just give in right now and let Murdoc censor him.]

Point made.

But the fact is, you're not censoring me until you tell me what the hell you really nearly said. So take it or leave it.

[wwistful]

There was an incident in my swimming classes, one of my students kissed me. Oh wait. You already knew that.

Shall I censor you now?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm gonna fucking ignore that.

What actually happened, you dumbass?

Because believe it or not I'm actually kinda fucking worried about you, so just cut the shit and tell me the truth!

Jesus fucking Christ you're impossible. I mean seriously.

What is it with you and dragging this shit out of me

And before you make some smartass comment about me actually caring about you, shut the fuck up. Maybe I do care. But that's beside the goddamn point.

Just cut the cagey bullshit, tell me the truth, then censor me so we can both get on with our lives and I can stop worrying about stupid shit. Because I have a lot more important things to worry about other than whatever you're hiding.

I don't even know why I fucking care, honestly.

[wwistful]

I wish you wouldn't.
I don't want to say it because I'm actually enjoying the conversation, but if it's so terribly important to you I suppose I won't be able to stand making your dear heart worry a second longer.

You need to tell me the charm first, Dirk. And you care because you're an idiot.

[plushaeusrumpified]

The conversation doesn't have to end just because you tell me. Unless... it's that bad.

And yeah, I never claimed to not be an idiot, but thanks for pointing it out.

[After a moment's hesitation, he writes out the charm.]

Now tell me.

[wwistful]

[And the spell is cast. Aah. Much better.]

You called me a dumbass, it's only fair that I return the favour.

A student had the audacity to grope me without buying me dinner. And not from the back. I'm still mortified.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It might be a while before he can respond, on account of.

There's a flood of black ink because he knocked his inkwell over.]

[wwistful]

Yes, I thought so too.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It takes a few minutes for him to siphon off the ink.]

WHAT THE FORK DID HE DO?

ARE YOU SAYING HE TOUCHED YOUR DOODLE?

I WILL FLIPPING HUG HIM.

[W-wait.

Oh sweet fuck no.

DGKLJDFHGJKFHLKFHDH

DONOGHUE YOU MESSED IT UP.]

[wwistful]

[INK. SPLOTCHES. Stop laughing, stop.]

I'm not upset anymore.

Partly because I am entirely confident in the knowledge that I will kill them slowly.

[plushaeusrumpified]

No you don't have to flapping do that because I will pat their back so hard their mother will feel it!

[wwistful]

This is why I didn't want to tell you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Murdoc I'm not a flarping female bodily organ I can handle this!

[UGH.]

I just.

Who was it?!

[wwistful]

I should hope you aren't. But I can handle my own problems.

You really think I'm going to tell you?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[There are inkblots as he just. Thinks. Long and hard for several minutes.

And then his mind goes back up to the beginning of their conversation and it all clicks.]

JAEGER

[wwistful]

No, Dirk.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You're a liar, Donoghue. I know it's him.

Don't be me. Don't be a liar.

You don't wanna be me.

[wwistful]

Of course I don't, then I'd have a ridiculous filter. I can say whatever I want.

And I'm saying no. No, Dirk.

No.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh my god, why are you defending him? Are you really that afraid I'll squish the poop out of him?

[Well for once that wasn't so bad he guesses.]

Just.

Tell me.

I need it for closure.

I promise I won't do anything. Just tell me.

[wwistful]

I'm not defending him, you utter moron. I'm protecting you from your own stupidity. Don't get involved.

[plushaeusrumpified]

So you admit. It was Maxim Jaeger.

[wwistful]

I'm neither confirming or denying that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh my god.

That little snowflake. Who does he think he is-

I can't even cop a feel and yet he gets a handful before me?

My jimmies are so rustled right now you have no heavenly idea.