Bro Strider (
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in
sortinghat_rp2012-11-10 03:07 am
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11 Smuppets; Text
33 sucks.
Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.
There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.
We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.
Someone invent a spell for that.
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[As he speaks, he sets off in the direction of the castle gates, trying not to think about how fucking cold it actually is.]
Like what we're gonna do while we're out. I haven't really even decided. You got any ideas floating around that head of yours? I mean, I know Muggle London ain't really your area of expertise, but you gotta have something. Or we could just wing it.
Or I could take you to a strip club. [He makes sure Murdoc can't see the smirk that creeps across his face when he says that. His tone made him sound perfectly serious about that one.]
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[His tone is a little defensive, and he folds his arms over his chest. Only because it's freezing, of course. Not because he's sulking and pouting like a child.]
It's your birthday, Dirk. Don't you have any plans? [That comment earns him a raised eyebrow.] What makes you think I want to go to one?
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Why wouldn't you wanna go to a strip club? They're awesome. I've DJ'd at some before- and that aside, you're a man. What kinda man wouldn't wanna go to a strip club, anyway?
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[He finally lets out the laugh he's been holding in, letting Murdoc know he's just joking.]
If you really think I would take you to a strip club, you're dumb.
[They've made it outside the gates by this point.] So you wanna do this the romantic way and hold hands or what?
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I wouldn't put it past you, actually!!
[He exhales before reaching out to take Dirk's hands, guiding him forward so he can peck his cheek.] Let's be romantic.
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Of course you wouldn't. [He just smiles as Murdoc takes his hands and kisses back.] Good, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
[And with that, he moves so that they can turn on the spot, disapparating them so that they appear in an alleyway in downtown London.]
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Then my reaction is understandable and not at all ridiculous.
[He squeezes his hands before they disapparate, wobbling a little as they arrive (holding hands while doing it is new to him) but not seeming all that put out by it. He glances around the alley curiously, not looking impressed by it.]
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C'mon, I'm not entirely sure where we are, but that's half the fun.
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He steps out toward the street as Bro pulls and looks around. Okay, he takes back being unimpressed. In fact, he looks a little bewildered by everything. The cars, the lights, the signs and the people. It's all so new to him. He can hardly verbalise a response, so he mutters in a soft voice:]
Muggles.
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Is this your first time being in a place like this?
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He nods slowly, taking more reserved glances around the street.]
I've never seen anythin' like it.
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You get used to it eventually.
[His hand moves from Murdoc's back to take him by the hand, twining their fingers together so that he can pull Murdoc along.]
C'mon, let's go.
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He squeezes his hand, trying not to be so distracted. It's Dirk's day and the focus should be on him.]
Where to?
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[He stops, because at that moment, his eyes catch sight of a movie theater, and his eyes go wide.]
Oh damn. Oh damn. Murdoc, have you ever seen a movie? Because I suddenly know what we're gonna do today.
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No, I can't say I have. Those.. are the moving pictures with sound, aren't they?
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It sure is! And we're gonna go see that one.
[He takes Murdoc by the shoulders and twists him until he's facing the movie theater he'd spotted, and points at one of the giant Breaking Dawn posters that are on display, letting everyone know the movie is now playing. He sounds really goddamn excited at the prospect of seeing this movie, you have no idea.]
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They look as if they're part veela. [He crinkles his nose.] It seems incredibly unnatural.
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But to be honest, Bro is pretty excited to finally be able to tell him all about the vampires he'd talked about before. It's about time he finally gets some of the things that Bro talks about.]
Nah, not veela. They're vampires! The ones I was tellin' you about before. You remember, don't you?
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He rubs his shoulder against Bro's, indicating that he should start walking, but he can't stop staring at it...]
I've seen plenty of vampires and none of them look a thing like that. [A pause.] Sort of? You tell me about a lot of things.
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[He pauses, and then gives Murdoc a light push on the shoulder.]
Would've been fuckin' awesome to know Dolores was one, by the way. I kinda wasn't prepared for that. Not that it matters. Who could hate that woman for any goddamn thing, let alone Vampirism? I mean seriously.
[He shrugs though, taking Murdoc by the hand to lead him across the street over to the theater.]
Anyway though, these are Stephenie Meyer's version of Vampires. It's probably the worst series ever, but that's what makes it great. They fuckin' sparkle. How stupidly amazing is that, am I right?
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Err. Yes. Well, she wanted me to keep it a secret and it would've been downright awful of me not to. Besides, I knew she'd tell you eventually. [He hums.] Plenty of people are irrationally biased, it's a fact of life.
Sparkle? [He crinkles his nose as he looks around the theater.] If it's so terrible why are we watchin' it?
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It's fine, I'm not actually upset with you. But still, tell me shit in the future.
[He shakes his head. No, Murdoc, he didn't say it was terrible. He said it was stupidly amazing. There's a difference.
Okay, it's kind of terrible, but shhhh.]
Because it's the worst series in the world and that's what makes watching it ironic.
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[He doesn't look as if he understands that, but he nudges Bro back and gives him an expectant look.] Whatever you say, birthday boy. Will you lead the way, then?
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Yeeeah, let's go get our tickets.
[He leads the way through the throngs of teenage girls, standing in line and finally making his way to the ticket booth. Once the tickets are in hand, he takes Murdoc's hand and pulls him inside the theater.]
So, you want some popcorn? Nachos?
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