Five Smuppets [Private to the Adults; Unhackable- But also an Unfiltered bit!]]

[plushaeusrumpified]

ok so.
i need help.
oh look bro striders asking for help.
its a sign of the fucking apocalypse or somethin.
whatever shittyass douchebag comment youve got about this you can go shove it up your hairy ass.
because i dont fucking care if you think its funny.
i legit need help so just keep your fucking commentary to yourself for once.
murdoc i am looking right the fuck at you.
go away.
i dont even know why i didnt filter you out of this.
i know youve got shit to say.
and yknow its not like you have anything relevant to add to this anyway.
youre the last person i even want to ask for advice from.
especially on this fucking matter.
anyway.
yeah so here i go.

[Well now that he's about to get to the matter, he feels really hesitant. It's been a while since he's talked about this kind of thing. In fact, he... hasn't really talked about it since it happened. It's just something he's bottled up and tried to forget about. He's tried to ignore the signs that it's still an issue, for himself and for Dirk. But after what happened on the journals with Dirk, he can't keep ignoring that there's a problem. A problem he just doesn't know how to fix at all, because... To be honest, it still hurts him too. Even though he's pretended that it hasn't ever since Dirk moved in.]

so yeah yknow.
my bro died. im sure you all remember that.
theres no need to point out how i fucked up there guys.
i know.
i really do.
so just shut up because im sure youre dying to remind me how much i fucked up there.
dont.
seriously just dont.
anyway. yeah. he died and so im left with a nephew.
a really fucking rad nephew by the way.
hes great.
i really just couldnt even ask for a better nephew.
except i think hes broken.
i mean.
i dont mean that in like a bad way.
i legit mean that i think somethings wrong.
and i dont know how to fix it.
i just think its really getting to him and i dont think he wants to even admit it himself.
i mean im sure if i asked him hed just deny the hell out of it.
because thats what striders do.
and i can admit we can be really fucking annoying like that.
but the thing is even if i did ask him.
i couldnt.
because i dont know how to fucking ask.
i dont know how to deal with this shit you guys.
i dont even know how to deal with his death to be fucking honest.
so how the hell dyou help an 11 year old.
its just really obvious from the way he talks that its there.
right underneath the surface.
i think hes got some resentment or some shit.
maybe even for me because i didnt really talk to my bro all that much.
i just dont know.

so how do i deal with this.
what do i even do.
i never thought id ask for parenting advice but.
well here the fuck i am.

also.
uh.
i know that dave went through a lot last year and i was wondering if there was anything i should do about that too.
like. do i talk to him about it or just.
pretend none of it ever happened. because im sure hed rather just forget about it.
but i dunno i mean that doesnt seem to be helping dirk so i just figured that maybe dave might need to let it out or something too.

anyway yeah.
i need a drink.

[After a few seconds, he adds an unfiltered part as an after thought, because he really just needs to get his mind off of this shit.]

so i hope you little shits all had a fantastic time at the party.
you owe me some fucking lube though.
and condoms.
because seriously who uses a mans condoms.
thats just rude.

Comments

[notthebee2]

at lea2t you 2hould be glad they diidnt take your viiagra.

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh shit that would suck.
because yeah i do need viagra unfortunately.
i mean i just dont.
have enough blood to keep this monster up by myself.
and yknow sometimes i even need a blood transfusion.
its really fucking inconvenient you haven no idea.

[givesyouaboner]

If I told you what we did I think you'd approve.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh. Shit. This is awkward, considering he just finished writing a novel about you.]

oh really.
care to elaborate?
because either way im still lubeless and i just chafed myself liek a motherfucker.

Filtered

[itsintheblood]

Have you thought about having him see a child psychologist?

Filtered

[plushaeusrumpified]

i dunno about that.
i mean i dont see him going for it.
itd probably just piss him off or something.
i dont want him to be pissed at me.

im not opposed to the idea i just.
am not sure how it would go.
but if it helps i guess maybe i could consider it.

[cantstarvethisfire]

I'm glad I skipped out on that party.

[plushaeusrumpified]

wait what.
why would you do that.
i mean lube and condom balloons aside.
it sounded fucking wild and you shouldve been there.
wish i woulda been.

[arachnoble]

[a w k w a r d

This is very close to how she feels about Vriska.]

Do you think that if you opened up about it you would help set an example? There's no shame in hurting.

[plushaeusrumpified]

uh.
well maybe but.
fuck i dunno.
i mean i did sorta.
kinda.
that night i brought him home.
we had a moment.
i thought itd cleared up everything.

FILTERED

[nosigntospeakof]

It's hard, taking care of a child whose just lost a parent.
Even harder when you're trying to mourn a lost brother yourself.

FILTERED

[plushaeusrumpified]

well yknow how i said i didnt know how to deal with it.
i didnt mean like.
im still depressed about it.
really i mean ive dealt with it.
im fine.
no bottled up feelings here or anything.
no mourning.
im fine.
i just dont think he is.

[He's not lying. Nope.]

Dave stop being a puppy with separation anxiety

[clockspinner]

shit yeah we did

[filtered]

if you leave me for that long again ill piss in your bed

awww baby; Also Filtered

[plushaeusrumpified]

how the hell did you ever cope before i was a teacher.

[dou8letrou8le]

What did you expect when you left us there without an adult?

[plushaeusrumpified]

excuse me but when i left there was no us.
it was just dirk and dave.

filters right back;

[wwistful]

I hadn't intended on saying anything, actually. Eridan's mother died when he was too young to understand the implications, so I have no advice for you.

all the filters

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh well good.
i mean about you not saying anything.
not about the thing that id never be douche enough to say good about.
thats fucked up.




sorry bro.

[Filter]

[grandhighwizard]

why do you have to do anything?

[Filter]

[plushaeusrumpified]

are you serious.
why the hell would i not do something.
theres obviously something wrong and i need to fix it.
what kind of asshole would just ignore it.

filter;

[polariity]

What Sal said
He knows children and parental loss suffering children

Also I know this is going to sound insane
But you could just admit that you're a fuck up and want to help him out??

filter;

[plushaeusrumpified]

yeah he seems to know his shit.
im impressed.

i dont understand the question.

filtered;

[glaringprotego]

To be honest, I think you're doing alright so far. Karkat took a long time to come to trust us and Dirk already s33ms to trust you.
Being there for him emotionally might not be your strong suit, but you should at least try. If you think he's upset by his death, then bring it up. Not in a 'do you f33l x' way.

But in a 'I f33l x, and that's okay if you do or don't' way. Being a parent sometimes means you have to put aside your own faults. You have to let him know it's okay to f33l that way and okay to admit it.

Same for Dave.

filtered;

[plushaeusrumpified]

wait.
you do?
i mean.
seriously?

[He kind of can't believe it, considering no one else has told him that. He's not used to hearing positive things about himself, so he's just kind of... oddly happy. He's not kidding himself enough to think he doesn't still have problems, but hey. It makes him feel better- at least a little bit.]

thanks.
seriously.
thats a really good thing to hear.

and... honestly thats the best advice ive heard so far.
so a double thanks to you.
everybodys told me i need to talk to him but nobody else told me how the fuck to bring it up.
at least now i have an idea.
i mean im not gonna lie and say itll be easy but.
nothings ever easy so im not gonna start expecting it to be now.

[He pauses. It occurs to him that he should apologize to her, just the same as he did to Sal.]

and uh hey.
i just wanted to say that im sorry.
like. for real.
for all the shits ive caused you in regards to karkat.
i realize now just how actually fucked up it was.
and how many problems it mustve caused the two of you as it 'rents.
and im sorry for that.
a lot.
and you want hear me say another fucking thing about the kid.
i screwed up big time there and i just.
am really fucking sorry for that.

so can we like.
start over or something?
not pretend it never happened because i dont deserve that much.
but at least dont.
hold it against me anymore?
please?

[yaknog]

I think I've asked this before, but why are you allowed to be a teacher?

[plushaeusrumpified]

eventually people are going to get tired of asking this question.

what the hell did i even do now anyway?
its not like i was even home when this happened.
i was off doing something required by my job.
the one i was hired for.
that you dont actually have the right to question.
seriously do you know how goddamn rude that is.

and seriously what the hell did i actually do to deserve it this time thats what i want to know more than anything.
am i not allowed to say the word lube or something.
does it offend your delicate sensibilities?

Filtered

[thegluethatbinds]

I hope you don't mind, but I do have some advice for you in regards to the matter.

Dealing with parental death is never easy for all parties. Sometimes you just don't want to talk about it, because it'd be bringing up emotions that you'd rather just ignore and pretend they don't exist. It's definitely not a healthy way of managing grief, and it's good that you've caught on to this now, rather than later. I'd advise you to just make yourself available for him when he needs you. Sometimes people aren't ready to open up about their feelings, and pushing them just makes them defensive.

The best you can do, at this point, is to be there for him. Spend time with him during the holidays, let him know that you care about his well-being, and that if he has any troubles he can approach you for help.

Filtered

[plushaeusrumpified]

dont mind at all bro.
in fact i appreciate it a hella bunch.
snice to get all these different opinions.

and that sounds like some solid advice.
you got any ideas on what kinda shit we can do though?
cuz it occurs to me that possibly not everything id pick might be the best.

[Considering that up until recently, his ideal evening was strifing on the roof? Definitely not.]

im not exactly...
the best when it comes to quality time so i just dont know what im doing.
what do 11 year olds even like do to?