Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

[plushaeusrumpified]

[OOC: Submit Homework Here]

Alright listen up, sproglets. And I mean that in the most loving way possible, so calm yourselves. ML starts Monday and before we dive headfirst into the fucking ins and outs of squeaking like a Mermaid and making orgasmic Troll noises, I need to see how you all can handle the English language.

Look up. First thing you see, write a rap about it. Six inches long, due Monday. If you're late, I'm kicking you out of my class. No exceptions, no second chances.

[Filtered to Dirk and Dave]

sup.
hows class goin.
you kids stayin outta trouble and shit?
gimme all the deets.
aint nobody given you any trouble are they?

also i may or may not have to talk to you guys about a thing one of these days but.
no rush.
but yeah ^ see above answer the questions all that jazz.

[Filtered to Vriska]

Hey. How's shit going? I haven't heard much out of you in a few weeks and just thought I'd check in.

Comments

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

I see...
I think I understand.
Thank you, profe


[Sudden inksplots]


Wait.
What thing, sir?

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

If you don't understand, then I guess I could show you. I have records.

I think if you think hard enough about it, you'll realize exactly what I'm talking about.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

I'd appreciate that, if it isn't too much trouble.

[He has to think, because at the time it didn't seem like a big thing.. but eventually it comes to him. Pretty much the only thing it could be]

Dirk said something to you about me?

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Then drop by my office.




And yep, sure did. Speaking of which, how old are you?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

Sixteen, sir.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh then it's probably illegal for me to give you fire whiskey. I think. Fucking UK drinking laws, how do they work?

Anyway, doesn't matter. You coming?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

[There's further inkblotting, then-]

Minors between the ages of 5 and 17 can be given alcohol under supervision. The legal age limit of 18 only applies to purchasing.

Sir.



Right now?
Okay.

[Filtered]

[plushaeusrumpified]

No I expect you to get a time turner and show up three hours ago.

Yes, now.

[Filtered ---> Actionnnnn~]

[rule_britannia]

Yessir


[It's hastily scrawled, and a short while later, there'll be a knock on Bro's office door]

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro doesn't respond, instead he decides to just relax in his nice, comfy office chair. By the time he arrives, Bro's occupied himself sewing up a tear on one of his smuppets.]

C'mon in.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[Arthur takes a quick breath to steel himself then pushes the door open, stepping into the room. He's never really made a habit of needing to visit professors, and glances around curiously as he walks in]

Hullo, Professor Strider.

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro tosses the smuppet he's working on onto his desk and nods in Arthur's direction.]

Sup.

[He moves from the chair and walks around his desk, heading over to a nearby table. He'd set up the record player as well as a bottle of butterbeer. He decided against the whole fire whiskey thing, since he's pretty sure even with drinking laws, it's illegal for him to give that shit to students.

He pours a mug of butterbeer for Arthur, before turning around and extending it to him.]

It's not fire whiskey, but it's the only thing I've got. Thanks for saying that stuff to Dirk, I appreciate it.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[He takes the mug and holds it in both hands, and the compliment finds the tips of his ears burning red. Arthur's never taken that kind of thing with anything close to grace.

At least the butterbeer provides a distraction, and he has a quick sip of it before he replies]

It's.. nothing, really, sir.

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro shakes his head, letting out a sigh.]

Nah, it's a pretty big deal. More than you can know. More than I'm really willing to tell you, since a lot of it's kinda personal. But I just wanted you to know that I'm really glad you did it, but it did more good than you think.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[He can't help but go a little bit wide-eyed at that. Really, he hadn't expected what had been a passing bit of advice to have such an impact]

I..

[Arthur can feel the heat working down from his ears and across his face. God damn it]

Well.. It wasn't a problem. I think I would have liked to have had someone to tell me the same thing when I was in the same position..

[Instead he'd just had William telling him that the squid would eat him]

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Same...

[He's not going to draw attention to Arthur's reaction, even though it amuses him slightly.][He makes his way back over to the desk, picking up the smuppet thoughtfully.]

Unless you want this.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

...

[Arthur peers over the top of his cup, and takes a few more steps into the room]

Um.. what is it?

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He holds it up, before it suddenly comes to life. In a flash, it's jumped out of Bro's hand and zoomed over to Arthur's leg, latching onto it like a koala.]

A smuppet.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[The first thing he does, probably unsurprisingly, is let out a startled yelp and jump back a foot or so. To his credit, he doesn't drop the mug he's holding, and he just.. stares at the thing now attached to his leg]

W-why is it doing that?

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[...Well, he could either tell the truth, or he could lie. The truth being that they're enchanted to do that to make porn while he's away and since it's a new smuppet, he hasn't charmed it not to do that around kids yet.

He settles for partial truth.]

It likes you, that's why.

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[Probably the best idea. Arthur might not have reacted that well to the absolute truth, after all. He makes a small, failed attempt to shake it off his leg, then reaches down and prods it with one finger]

You made it?

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Sure did. ... Also don't poke it, because- uh. Then it... It might get the wrong idea?

[IT MIGHT WANT YOU TO STICK THAT FINGER PLACES, OKAY.

He really should remove that enchantment before Arthur leaves.]

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[You're getting a puzzled look for that reaction, professor..]

... Is there something I ought to be worried about?

[Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's just gonna... walk over and snatch the smuppet off Arthur's leg.]

Some of them have teeth and I forgot that this one does.

[JUST GONNA. Cover them tracks. Because he can tell Arthur's getting creeped out.

He walks over to his desk and shoves it in a drawer. He reaches into another one and produces a smuppet that is, fortunately, not enchanted.]

Here, take this one. [Toss.]

[Action]

[rule_britannia]

[Good call. You don't want your entire porn empire being busted by one inquisitive student, after all.

Arthur's sipping at his drink when the smuppet is tossed towards him, and he catches it deftly with one hand. Maybe he won't be so bad at Quidditch after all]

Thank you.

[... Sip]

You had some records to show me, sir?