[Teacher Filter]

[wwistful]

I understand that it might be a little difficult to handle given that it's only the first week back, but I can't be the only one appalled by the behaviour of the students, can I?

Honestly. It's gotten to the point where detention has become a joke and removing points is a formality. I actually have no idea how I'm meant to deal with the amount of misbehaviour going on when they won't listen to a word I say! A student went so far as to

[Actually. He doesn't really want to announce that.]

It's a little difficult to comprehend. Is there any advice anybody can give me, because I am at a loss here. I think perhaps it's time for a discussion amongst ourselves before things get even more out of hand.


We're much stronger as team than we are individually, in any case.

Comments

[wwistful]

I'd boss you around regardless of whether I'm using your first or last name and I should hope not. That would be awkward.

Maybe so, but I would know it isn't true.

Perhaps I should train you better. How about a shock spell? Every time you swear, I zap you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

And what makes you think I'm going to listen?

You're so infuriating

I'm not your pet. And no, you're not fucking shocking me, that's stupid.






But I do have an idea.

[wwistful]

I'm sure I could convince you somehow.

I never said you were my pet, where on earth did you pull that conclusion from? Silly, really.


What is it?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Maybe you're overestimating yourself.

Oh I dunno, the BDSM and pet play undertones were getting a little heavy.

I know some kids who use this strange, fucked up censor charm. You could cast it on me, I guess, if you're that worried about me not making a fool out of you with my foul mouth or whatever.

But only if you tell me what the hell you're hiding from me.

[wwistful]

Maybe you're underestimating me,

I think you're reading too deeply into it, Dirk.

Right. That sounds like the exact right charm for you.

I could. Or I could just do it anyway.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nope, I'm pretty sure you're overestimating yourself.

Whatever, I don't care, let's just move on to important things.

Like you thinking you have a shot at censoring me without my permission.

[wwistful]

I shouldn't have to ask permission, it benefits you as well.

Why do you care so much?

[plushaeusrumpified]

How's it benefit me? I haven't seen Dumbledore give me any shit about it.

I don't.

care.

You're overestimating my feelings.

I just want to know.

[wwistful]

Maybe Dumbledore is waiting for you to take initiative?

I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I don't want to tell you if you're going to be apathetic, you might laugh.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I- you think so? I mean... d'you think he's disappointed?

Oh my fuck. Murdoc, come on for fuck's sake. I'm not going to be apathetic, I'm not going to laugh. Is it that embarrassing or something?

Did you get your dick caught in your zipper?

[wwistful]

I think he might be. What a twist.

Yes, that is exactly what happened. It was so concerning, I almost posted it in the middle of a journal entry that has nothing to do with it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh.

[Well. That thought is kind of depressing. Like, extremely... And then there are inkblots, because now he's overthinking it and fuck.

But he's curious, so he'll just keep up with the whole thing, even though he really could just give in right now and let Murdoc censor him.]

Point made.

But the fact is, you're not censoring me until you tell me what the hell you really nearly said. So take it or leave it.

[wwistful]

There was an incident in my swimming classes, one of my students kissed me. Oh wait. You already knew that.

Shall I censor you now?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm gonna fucking ignore that.

What actually happened, you dumbass?

Because believe it or not I'm actually kinda fucking worried about you, so just cut the shit and tell me the truth!

Jesus fucking Christ you're impossible. I mean seriously.

What is it with you and dragging this shit out of me

And before you make some smartass comment about me actually caring about you, shut the fuck up. Maybe I do care. But that's beside the goddamn point.

Just cut the cagey bullshit, tell me the truth, then censor me so we can both get on with our lives and I can stop worrying about stupid shit. Because I have a lot more important things to worry about other than whatever you're hiding.

I don't even know why I fucking care, honestly.

[wwistful]

I wish you wouldn't.
I don't want to say it because I'm actually enjoying the conversation, but if it's so terribly important to you I suppose I won't be able to stand making your dear heart worry a second longer.

You need to tell me the charm first, Dirk. And you care because you're an idiot.

[plushaeusrumpified]

The conversation doesn't have to end just because you tell me. Unless... it's that bad.

And yeah, I never claimed to not be an idiot, but thanks for pointing it out.

[After a moment's hesitation, he writes out the charm.]

Now tell me.

[wwistful]

[And the spell is cast. Aah. Much better.]

You called me a dumbass, it's only fair that I return the favour.

A student had the audacity to grope me without buying me dinner. And not from the back. I'm still mortified.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It might be a while before he can respond, on account of.

There's a flood of black ink because he knocked his inkwell over.]

[wwistful]

Yes, I thought so too.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It takes a few minutes for him to siphon off the ink.]

WHAT THE FORK DID HE DO?

ARE YOU SAYING HE TOUCHED YOUR DOODLE?

I WILL FLIPPING HUG HIM.

[W-wait.

Oh sweet fuck no.

DGKLJDFHGJKFHLKFHDH

DONOGHUE YOU MESSED IT UP.]

[wwistful]

[INK. SPLOTCHES. Stop laughing, stop.]

I'm not upset anymore.

Partly because I am entirely confident in the knowledge that I will kill them slowly.

[plushaeusrumpified]

No you don't have to flapping do that because I will pat their back so hard their mother will feel it!

[wwistful]

This is why I didn't want to tell you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Murdoc I'm not a flarping female bodily organ I can handle this!

[UGH.]

I just.

Who was it?!

[wwistful]

I should hope you aren't. But I can handle my own problems.

You really think I'm going to tell you?