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[givesyouaboner]

Orangina has a problem right now.
She kind of accidentally two tails and she's really confused. She keeps chasing after one of her tails in one direction, then the other touches her opposite side and she starts running around in the other direction.
Is getting "too dizzy" a thing for cats? She hasn't bumped into anything so I don't think she'll get brain damage.

_{[He was doing his homework when he contemplated what it would be like for monkeys to have two prehensile tails. Orangina isn't a monkey but she was the closest animal around. Oops.]}

Comments

my signal is too low to look through my icons so ignore the default

[plushaeusrumpified]

... Touche. But in my defense you haven't actually asked. And also it's dangerous.

[Because that totally stopped him before. Whatever.

Wait, now he's implying that Roxy is stronger- foot in mouth.]

But all you gotta do is ask I guess.

You've also been writing in the journal, so your attention hasn't been on her the entire time. She just slipped away. How long have you had her? Like four months now? Maybe she finally realized her feline needs and went to go find some pussy.

that's fine bb u3u

[givesyouaboner]

You say that like I haven't gotten hurt before. Consider this me asking now?

Yeah, but it's really hard to miss fuzzy orange in the corner of your eye, even if writing.

Uncle Dirk.

What.

Seriously?

She's already a cat that's redundant.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's just. Going to casually move ooon from things.]

Dirk I'm pretty sure we've talked about pussy before.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Have some flustered ink blots.]}

She's a kitten. She isn't even thirteen yet in cat years.

[plushaeusrumpified]

So what's your point, I was tw

[Because that's something Dirk needs to hear right?

If he tries really hard though he might be able to read through all that scribble.]

She wouldn't be able to get any anyway, she's kind of a bitch tbh.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He doesn't even try.]}

She is not. You're just being mean. I don't understand why you don't like her. She's like my kid. That means she's your other grandniece. You wouldn't treat Polly Esther like this.

_{[It's ok to side-eye this, Bro. He's talking about his pajama baby.]}

[plushaeusrumpified]

That's because Polly Esther is a classy lady. Orangina is the delinquent child that don't get no loving.

[...

Ow. That unintentionally struck a nerve he didn't mean to.]

Who the hell is Polly Esther again?

[givesyouaboner]

_{[That's right, Bro. Orangina is just like you.]}

Uncle Dirk! Don't write that so loudly. You hurt her feelings. Now she's crying. Do you know how hard it is to calm down pajama babies? It's really hard.


Do you really not remember?

_{[He's certain he and Roxy showed it off before dressing Orangina in it.]}

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Shut your face.]

She's a cat, she can't read. And you don't even know where she is, you have no idea if she's crying or not. Drama queen.

I don't remember this, are you sure I was there?

[It must've been when he was preoccupied with custody battle shit...]

[givesyouaboner]

Obviously Orangina can't read, but Polly is here and she can read. She inherited my intellect. She learnt to read when she was just one day old.

Hold on.

_{[Give him a moment to fetch his markers.]}



Do you remember now?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh I thought you learned how to read in-womb.

[He stares at the drawing, and after a few seconds of thought it comes back to him even if it's a little fuzzy.]

Oh yeah, now I do. Well if she's reading this, I apologize for hurting her delicate and fuzzy feelings.

[givesyouaboner]

I did, but she only received half of her genetics from me.

She accepts the apology. She says you're still her favourite uncle, along with Dave.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Are you implying that Roxy, the Ravenclaw, didn't contribute enough for a super intelligent PJ baby?

The scale better be tipping in my favor.

[givesyouaboner]

She mostly contributed to Polly's charming good looks.

She says she loves you both equally.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Typical Lalonde.

Well I guess I can live with that.

[givesyouaboner]

If it's any consolation, you're my favourite uncle.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Doki.]

I'm your only uncle, that doesn't count.

[givesyouaboner]

Even if I had twenty uncles, you'd still be my favourite.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Dirk stahp you're making his chest do weird things.]

Welp.

If I had a hundred nephews you'd still be the only one who's like my own actual crotch dropping.

[givesyouaboner]

I'm glad.

I'm also glad you don't have a hundred nephews because I wouldn't enjoy vying for your attention.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Right, like it would even be a competition. I don't think any of them would be nearly as interesting as you.

[givesyouaboner]

I don't know; they'd all be Striders too. Who knows if any of them would have an advantage over me?

[plushaeusrumpified]

By that point the Strider genes would be spread really damn thin. I'd be willing to bet you'd have the high concentration of the S-gene out of any of them.

[givesyouaboner]

I hope so. I really don't want to be a Smith. I've tried to hard in trying to be a Strider.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Y'know you don't even have to try, it just sort of happens naturally already.