sortinghat_rp | 11 Smuppets; Text

It's not my birthday. Though I suppose I could throw my back out, if you'd like to help me with that.

[Smirk.]

London? What would we do in London? [Such a pureblood.]

[He can't help smirking a little at that, though probably for entirely different reasons as he recalls previous conversations and how it was used as a euphemism for... things. But he decides not to go there, and focuses on Murdoc's other question. He's not too much of a horndog to spend his birthday bumping uglies.]

I dunno. Explore. Get lunch? Do all the shit we can't do in Hogsmeade? It's a big place, I'm sure there's plenty to do. [And then in a small moment of word vomit,] Maybe I could take you back to my place later.

[A pause. Because... does he really want Murdoc to see his place? He isn't entirely sure.] But mostly London.

[Murdoc knows exactly what he's talking about. Of course, he doesn't expect them to spend his entire birthday in bed, that would be ridiculous. He simply assumes Birthday Sex is something Dirk has a keen interest in. Or at least, he's finding himself a little curious about it.

Besides, what better way to make Dirk feel young and sexy than- yeah okay he should pay attention to the conversation]

Whatever you think is best, it's your birthday afterall. [He sneers because he knows Dirk is trying to cover that up] Are you going to show me your floors?

[The problem with birthday sex is that if they were to have it, they would waste so much time that everything would be closed by the time they ever thought about getting to London. So that is something best saved for after they've been productive. But you can believe that he is very interested in it.

And the floor comment does nothing to put that thought away. Goddamn it.]

I'm gonna punch you... [It's a whisper, hopefully Murdoc doesn't hear. Or hopefully he does.] So anyway, yeah. Let's go.

[Murdoc does hear it. All it gets Dirk is a snort and roll of his eyes. Still, He leans forward and presses a kiss to the other man's cheek. They may not doing anything dirty, but he still can't keep himself off Dirk. Even if he is threatening to punch him.

He leans back and tilts his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.]

Right now? Like this? [He looks down at his clothing and Dirk's clothing.]

[Ugh, Murdoc. You are really, seriously making it hard to resist the whole birthday sex thing. Even something as simple and mushy as a cheek kiss is enough to light that particular fire. But maybe it's because a part of him just loves sappy shit like that a lot. Also it makes it difficult to want to punch him, so it's a double annoyance.

Also he can't deny the fact that Murdoc has a point there.]

Oh. Well, okay. After we change, I guess.

[And that's when he has a sudden realization.]

Do you have any... er. Normal clothes?

[Oh? Is he? How strange. That certainly isn't his intention. Honestly! Just because he wants it so much right now doesn't mean they need to, particularly since Dirk seems to have his own plans.

So, The kiss is entirely innocent.]

Good.

[He raises both eyebrows, scowling.]

These are normal clothes.

[Right. Innocent.

You are so full of shit, Murdoc. And it's thanks to you that now he's fucking wanting it. But no, he's not going to get it. Because he really does want to go out for his birthday and not just stay in screwing all day. Because that really is what would happen and Murdoc should know that.]

Let me rephrase that. Do you have any Muggle clothes. I'm assuming from your answer that would be a no, though. We're gonna have to raid my closet, I just know it.

[Yes. He is the innocent one here. Mostly because he doesn't have the stamina to screw all day, but he wouldn't be surprised if Dirk did. Oh well. He can wait and when they do end up doing it he's such it'll be fantastic.

He huffs, folding his arms over his chest.]

Why do I need muggle clothin'? [Nose crinkle.] Do you have anythin' nice?

[Honestly the two of them will be lucky if they don't end up having a quickie somewhere out of the way during their little birthday adventure in London. Either way though, it will indeed be fantastic.

And wow, you're such a little drama queen, Murdoc.]

You need muggle clothes because you're dressed like somebody that doesn't belong in this century. It'll raise a few questions. And of course I have something nice, did you see what I wore on our date? If that's not nice, you've got some fuckin' high standards! Come on.

[He stands up, reaching out to take Murdoc by the arm so that he can take him to his closet.]

You're not wearing a suit, though. Nah, I'm gonna dress you in something way more casual.

[Murdoc only hopes it's somewhere nice and not some place disgusting like a bathroom or an alley. Murdoc has high hopes for you, Dirk. Be a good boy.]

I fit perfectly in this century! You're the ridiculous one with the ridiculous shades!

[He growls in frustration because HIS CLOTHING HAS BEEN INSULTED and also he's getting fashion anxiety and it hurts to imagine what other ugly sweaters he might have.]

Why can't I wear a suit?

[Really, now? You're seriously questioning his ability to find a good fuck spot? He, who once schooled you in this very subject? Remember the restricted section, Murdoc. Fucking. Remember. It.]

Not in this muggle century.

[You insulted his shades, and yet you don't see him flying off the handle. Even though that does get to him slightly. He likes his shades, goddamn it.]

Because. Stop getting so pissy, Jesus Christ. Is it so wrong that I want a day where I don't get fucking stared at? It's already gonna happen anyway, since I'm not gonna be wearing my shades. [For you.] So the least you could do is compromise a little and not be such a diva.

[They're in his quarters now, and he pulls them over to his closet, opening the door. It's nothing too large, but it's big enough that the two of them can walk in it if they don't mind being a little cramped. At a glance, it seems pretty average. Lots of white polos, and other shirts of varying colours. On closer inspection, there are a few things you don't ever see Bro wearing that look a bit different than what would normally wear. Mostly because he buys them and never wears them, because what is fashion. It's easier to just wear simple things.]

[Yes. The restricted section of a library in a school. That would have gone swimmingly. He's also fairly certain some of those books are sentient.]

Who cares what muggles think? I don't!

[He crinkles his nose a little and tries not to pout but now he feels a little bad. Okay no he feels very bad.]

You don't have to take your shades off if you don't want to. [He grumbles and trudges toward the clothes, picking through the clothes. Occasionally he lets out a disapproving tut as he comes across a hideous sweater or a garish colour.

Then he pulls out a black coat and holds it against himself with a thoughtful hum. You could be here a while.]

[Too bad neither of them are particularly voyeuristic, or that could potentially be a huge turn on.

He also realizes that he made Murdoc feel bad, which wasn't exactly his intention. Maybe he himself acted sort of like a diva. But still, he doesn't like being stared at. I mean, he can ignore it and he doesn't really care what anyone thinks. At least most people. But when it comes to his eyes, it's different.]

I want to, though...

[Because Murdoc likes it when he does, and he doesn't want Murdoc judging him for them all day.

He picks through the clothes, too, trying to ignore the way Murdoc makes noises as he looks through them. Goddamn it man, stop judging him for his clothes. He's half tempted to force him into the orange sweater just out of spite. His glorious, warm, beautiful orange sweater.

After a few seconds, he turns to Murdoc, holding up a rather plain looking blue shirt, when he notices Murdoc with the coat.]

That's pretty nice.

[Murdoc shoots him a slightly guilty look, but he supposes if Dirk is okay with it he has no reason to feel bad. So he sighs a little and nods.]

If you insist.
[He does like it, he likes it a lot. He also likes it when Dirk is comfortable, so he'll do everything in his power to make him comfortable.

He nods, draping the coat over his arm and squinting at the shirt in his hand before stepping forward and continuing the search.

A long while later he has a black button up shirt, a coat and black pants.]

Should I change here?

[Murdoc definitely has no reason to feel bad. Bro does it because Murdoc is the only one who makes him feel good about what's behind the shades. It may stress him out sometimes, but ultimately the feeling on knowing Murdoc likes what he sees wins out. He doesn't get that feeling when he wears the shades.

He just nods lightly at Murdoc's comment, not wanting to bring attention to how big a deal it actually is, and he too goes back to looking, only turning his attention back to Murdoc when he speaks.]

...Seriously? I've already se-

[But then he has the sudden realization that if Murdoc changes in front of him, they probably won't be leaving the closet any time soon.]

Actually, on second thought, I'm gonna go out.

[The reason why should be pretty obvious, and he pushes past Murdoc and closes the door behind him without another word.]

[Murdoc drops it when he does, following the unspoken rule of not persuing an issue when it's greeted with silence. It doesn't matter right now, anyway. Dirk is content to go shadeless and he's more than happy to accompany him and scowl at anyone who dares give him strange looks.

He tilts his head to the side as Dirk trails off, giving him a curious but unimpressed look. He's not CERTAIN where his mind is going, but he has an idea.]

As you wish. [He says, not bothering to check if Dirk has left the room before stripping out of his clothing. He's finding Dirk's determination so terribly adorable.

He's quite slow to change, mostly because he's fussing. He's managed to dig up a reasonably attractive non orange scarf to accompany his outfit, but he refuses to leave his boots. He assumes Dirk's feet are a different size anyway, if that saying is true.

Finally, he slinks out of Dirk's room feeling incredibly uncomfortable and awkward in clothes that aren't his.]

Have you ever actually worn any of this? [He asks, glancing down at his outfit.]

[No, shut up. He's not adorable. He's just trying to make sure they do something productive today, and you're really not making it easy.

Waiting, knowing Murdoc's a few feet away naked and only separated by a door, makes it even more difficult to resist the temptation. But he does. Miraculously he does. See? He's not such a horn dog that he can't reign it in. He's really rather proud of himself though. It did take a lot of effort.

He looks up when Murdoc finally leaves the closet, and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. God. damn. Murdoc looks way better in Muggle clothes than he ever thought he possibly could.]

I... uh, no. Not really.

[Dirk's determination is endearing whether he likes it or not. Murdoc is surprisingly proud of his boyfriend, he must really want to go out if he's turning down so many fantastic opportunities for sex.

Murdoc is most certainly the type of man who prefers to stay in and shag rather than going out, but Dirk's excitement is rubbing off on him. Honestly, getting out of Hogwarts for a while sounds like a damn good idea.

He runs a hand through his hair as Dirk looks at him. He feels strange in these clothes, and he wants to deny the fact that they feel comfortable. He's trying not to stare at his reflection on any possible surface.]

What a pity. I'm sure you'd look gorgeous in somethin' other than that shirt and those pants.

[It's really hard for Bro not to stare at him, to be quite perfectly honest. But he's trying- he knows that Murdoc might take it as an insult if he looks just the wrong way. But damn. he rolls his eyes at Murdoc's comment, though.]

You always criticize the shit I wear. Have I ever said anything bad about the stuff you wear? Nope, so don't get all up in my grill about my polos.

[If he sounds grouchy, it's because it's taking a colossal effort not to jump his bones in that oufit.]

Anyway though, uh. You look good. We should go now.

[Murdoc smirks as he sees Dirk becoming grouchy, the two of them are so similar at times. So proud and easy to offend. Once that became obvious, it became easier for the two of them to better understand each other.

He closes the distance between them and smooths out Dirk's shirt, fixing his collar before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.]

Because you wear the same shit every day when you've got a closet full of perfectly functional clothes.

And you need not say anythin' bad about what I wear because there's nothin' wrong with my clothin'. [He pats his shoulder before stepping forward.]

C'mon then, let's go.

My clothes are not sh-

[You know what? He's just going to ignore it. Ignore it as best he can. It's really fucking hard to ignore that, though, because goddamn it he's really defensive over the stuff he wears sometimes. Why d'you think he wears simple shit in the first place? To avoid criticism. And also because it's just easier that way.]

Yeah, let's just go.

[He pushes past Murdoc, because screw you, he's gonna take the lead.

Also he's going to pointedly pop his collar back up when he's in Murdoc's sight, before stepping out the door as he begins heading towards the entrance hall.]

[Suddenly, Murdoc feels like he put his well dressed foot into his mouth. He feels guilty. This is meant to be Dirk's special day and he can't stop teasing him and fussing over it.

He lets Dirk walk ahead, sulking a bit as he does and burying his hands into his new coat pockets as he does. In fact, he's going to hunch a little. Yes, perfect, he is the perfect picture of a guilty, sulky man.

When they finally get to the entrance hall, he steps forward to bump his shoulder gently against Dirk's.]

You look gorgeous no matter what you wear.

[Two pouty looking men walking through the castle must be a pretty interesting sight. At least most people are too busy to really notice. As they make their way through the castle though, his annoyance abates as he starts thinking about it. Deep down, he knew Murdoc was kidding and that he doesn't mean anything by it. He shouldn't let it get to him, so just being pissy about it isn't going to accomplish anything.

So by the time that they make it and Murdoc speaks, he's in a better place and has realized he was being pretty dumb to have gotten irritated over it.]

Somebody's backtracking. [His tone is teasing though, and he just gives Murdoc a mischievous look out the corner of his eye.] I know you didn't mean it, no need to feel bad.

[He pushes the door to the castle open and steps out into the annoyingly chilled air. Fucking Christ he hates winter.]

[Murdoc already feels strange and judged in his muggle attire, he doesn't care if people think he looks pouty. Besides, he looks pouty on his good days, so he hasn't got much to worry about in that regard.

He returns the look with a wry smile, poking his side playfully.]

I never said you looked bad in what you wear, I said you could stand to wear somethin' else. There's a difference.

[He says with a small nod, stepping out after Dirk and bracing a little. His other clothes are warmer, damn it.]

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