Two Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

yo bitches.
im gonna get real with you all for a sec.
cuttin the bullshit throwin out the ironies.
some shits come up and i gotta go for a while.
banks youre responsible for the entire class now.
dont fuck it up.
my spies are watching you.

well fuck i just realized that sounds pretty goddamn suspicious doesnt it.
bet youre thinking i molested somebody.
and that im on the run.
fuck you have a little more faith.
my bro died if you must know.
its real fucking tragic.
i hear lifetimes already tryin to get the rights to the movie.
anyway yeah.
peace out and ill see you fuckers after summer.

[Filtered to Dave]

so.
guess whose comin to live with us.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

tell that to the goddamn kid im gonna have to raise now whose fucking mother walked out when he was fucking four.

[selfhatred]

PARENTS LEAVE FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE DIDN'T LOVE HIM.

[plushaeusrumpified]

thats bullshit and you know it.

ten points from gryffindor for your disgusting lies.

[selfhatred]

NO, YOU'RE FULL OF BULLSHIT.
JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE WAS FUCKED UP, DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THIS KID.
BUT OH WAIT, HE'S A STRIDER. GUESS HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.
EVERY GODDAMN ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO HAVE PARENTAL ISSUES, HUH?
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP.
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT HOW A PARENT SHOULD ACT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK TAKING THIS KID IN IS GOING TO IMPROVE ANYTHING?
I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.
SORRY THAT HE HAS TO PUT UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT AND PROJECTING AND LIES.
FIX YOUR OWN GODDAMN PROBLEMS FIRST, ASSHOLE.
I'M OUT.

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh wow i love how you think you know striders so fucking well.
why dont we discuss howfucked up the vantas family is?
starting with you.
you attention deprived idiotic recluse who thinks its his business to tell people who they should and shouldnt screw.
cant keep a goddamn girlfriend because youre too busy nosing in other peoples business.
cant get any friends except for a cripple and an ICP reject.
or maybe you cant get a girlfriend because you sound really
fucking
gay.
i mean breaking dawn?
dude youve got a dick and you need to start acting like it.
maybe then you might not be such a goddamn outcast.
you prance around here making subtle references to your goddamn dead mother.
shes dead. shes gone.
stop rubbing it in all our goddamn faces.
stop acting like its some big secret when you make it really fucking obvious.
you want attention that much?
find another goddamn way because nobody fucking cares.

and dont even get me started on the rest of your family.
jegus shit that woman you live with has more pussies than should even be legal.
she fucking smells like pussy all the time.
its disgusting.
i dont even know what the fuck to say about that other guy.
but i imagine hes gotta be pretty fucked up all things considered.

i think the vantas family wins the fucked up award kid.
get some help.
dr phil would love the shit out of you.

[glaringprotego]

You are done.
This instant.
You are not a child. You don't get a free pass. You're a teacher and you are supposed to be a role model.
Frankly you are being a bully and I am going to speak with the Headmaster about having your journal privileges revoked for the time being. I don't care what you said about me, but you are an adult and you will start acting like one. Do you understand?
Put down the journal and report to my office this instant. If you are going to act like a child, I will treat you like one. If you make me come look for you, there will be consequences.

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh no not my journal privileges.
how ever will i go on?

you gonna spank me?
do it hard. i like it rough.
even if you smell like pussy.

but hold your tits i gotta teach my son a lesson.
might take a while.

[glaringprotego]

No. You're done. Get off the journals now.

[plushaeusrumpified]

back the fuck off lady.
you cant actually make me do a damn thing.
its cute that you think you can though.
endearing character trait.

[nosigntospeakof]

Seeing as my wife handled this perfectly fine I'm only going to say one thing:

Strider, don't you ever speak in such a disrespectful way to or about a student, their family or my family.

You're a damn teacher.

Act like it.

[selfhatred]

YOU CAN INSULT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU
DO
NOT
BRING
MY MOTHER, MY AUNT OR MY FUCKING FRIENDS INTO THIS.
YEAH, SO MAYBE I DON'T DESERVE THEM
BIG DEAL
I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT
YOU THINK I CARE HOW GAY IT APPARENTLY IS THAT I LIKE ROMCOMS?
I DON'T.
PICK NEW THINGS TO BITCH AT ME ABOUT BECAUSE I'VE HEARD THIS ALL BEFORE.

[glaringprotego]

Karkat, please don't reply anymore. I understand you're upset but you should just stay off the journals for the moment.

[selfhatred]

WHATEVER. I WAS DONE ANYWAY.

[plushaeusrumpified]

thats what you said last time fucko.

[selfhatred]

SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE.

filtered

[nosigntospeakof]

KARKAT, WHERE ARE YOU?

filtered

[selfhatred]

[The response takes a while because Karkat actually shut his journal, so when he sees this it's late.]

owlery

filtered

[nosigntospeakof]

Thank you.

[Sal closes his journal and solemnly makes his way to the owlery. Time and lateness are no matter when his nephew is in need of a hug and a talk.]

action

[selfhatred]

[Sal will find Karkat there, sitting on one of the larger window sills, knees drawn up and looking out at the school grounds. His book bag is slumped down on the floor, journal on top of it.]

action

[nosigntospeakof]

[Sal knows better than to surprise Karkat. He makes sure to take heavy, deliberate steps on the stairs and stops a few stops short of his nephew's back.]

Hey.

action

[selfhatred]

[Karkat doesn't turn around when he hears his uncle's footsteps. He's listened to them long enough to know who it is that's coming in. He also doesn't turn his head to acknowledge Sal's presence, but his shoulders hunch a little more.]

Come to tell me I shouldn't yell and cuss at teachers?

action

[nosigntospeakof]

No. [Sal steps around him and takes a seat beside him, legs danging off the window's ledge.] I came to see if you were alright after Mr. Strider's rude and uncalled for treatment.

action

[selfhatred]

[The younger Vantas snorts into his arms, something that vaguely sounds like a sniffle before he rubs his nose against the sleeve of his robes.]

I've lived in the same dorm as Dave for the last three fucking years. I can take anything Strider throws at me. [Lies]

filtered

[clockspinner]

much as i enjoy watching vantas have an aneurysm
taking points is too far

bro calm the fuck down okay
your mom didnt want you
mine didnt either
some people were lucky enough to have cunts who cared about their crotchdroppings
just leave it

dont go get dirk when youre shitting fire like this

[glaringprotego]

Ten points to Gryffindor for standing up for mothers Karkat.

And Strider.

You will stop this instant. You've already made a child cry, do you honestly feel the need to continue this train of thought? You're being a terrible example and I will not have you hurting or pushing your own ideas of parenthood on these children. Understood?