sortinghat_rp | 34

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Listen up, Slytherins.

I don't care if your parents are wizards or muggles or chimps or whatever. I care about the game next weekend, and I care about bringing it so hard Ravenclaw cries. On my team, we judge you on your badassness, not who your parents are. So you guys can either not be dicks or you can not play.

I want you on the pitch right after dinner.

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no!

that aint cool dude. that aint cool at all! ya cant just say crap like that to my girlfriend!

[Uhhh...]

i mean. whatever we are!

[cuz he dunno]

I don't think she's your girlfriend if she's hitting me up.

what?

[Reading.]

[...Processing...]

...Oh.

why would she...

... but i thought...

[!!!]

WHAT THE HELL MAN?!

how could ya do that to me? i thought we were bros!

The fuck are you talking about? I didn't do anything!

yeah right! i aint imaginin things puck! i just read everything!

What about her? She started it.

and i bet you had somethin to do with it somehow!

and it aint like you were sayin no either!

Neither was she, until she got busted. She's playing you, obviously.

know what? i dont believe ya.

i think the only one playin me is you, pretendin to be my friend!

Are you even here, Ellis? She was hitting on me, it's a fact.

Are you for real?

Are you? "Let's get hot and sweaty and see what happens," isn't a come-on?

I mean, I knew you were into quidditch and all, but I didn't realize you were into it that way.

Yeah, now that you realized he can read, you're totally innocent. That's a bunch of shit.

Point out where I said "I wanna bang you, Puckerman."

Not those words, but come on, quit pretending this is the first time in your life you're not fooling around and flirting.

So what if I'm flirting? That still doesn't mean I need you inside me.

But other stuff happens all the time, after you say the same shit, so don't make it out like I'm delusional for seeing a fucking pattern.

I didn't even realize you wanted me so bad.

How are you even making this about me? This whole thing is just you being a bitch and then pretending you're not.

Rude much?

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