[ooc: This? Is a complete lack of filter. A message intended for Gryffindor is on the loose, possibly done intentionally to make a point.]Ahhh, the match between Slytherin and Ravenclaw is coming up, and that means some leisurely time for-
AHAHAHAHA I can't even finish the sentence! My little joke is just too damn funny! It's so funny I
[inkblots, shaky writing, some tear from the quill being pressed way too hard into the paper]almost can't take it!Teammates, I have an important announcement! Ah, my proud little lions, my radiant favor smiles upon you! Some especially so. You know who you are. Keep this up and I'll have to really be on my toes next year if I want to retain my captaincy and for this, I am so, so very, very glad. Don't think that I haven't caught the subtle but heady aroma of
unquenchable revolutionary hunger wafting off of some of you. OHO, no no no
NO. I can
taste it - it is like ambrosia! - and this promise of a challenge sustains me.
But others.
Ohhhh, others, others, others, others, others. Far, far, far too many others!
I don't know if you've become distracted by school or if you've gotten sloppy over the holidays or if your mind has turned into an impassable, confusing labyrinth of hormones or if the birth pangs of this new post-war existence of ours has turned your life upside down or if you've just gone DEAD inside - the hot blood coursing through your veins chilled blue by some unseen and unstoppable force of doubt and dread!! You are not the same players that made it through my incredibly scrupulous and only occasionally arbitrary cuts! And this makes me sad. I've never known such sadness! It's RIPPING ME APART. And when I'm this consumed with despair, I
take swift action.
As a wise man once said, the flavor of revolution is delicious, and Gryffindor, I am laying out the freshest ingredients for coup d'état for you.
The members of the team who have been making me so depressed will find a letter in a red envelope on their pillow. The contents are all long and personalized, but the core message is the same: shape up or I kick you off the team. Kick is a metaphor, of course! I much,
much prefer beating people with my fists!
If you're not currently on the team, you've got the chance to dazzle me. For once, every Gryffindor is invited to watch the team practice. Stick around after we're done and show me what you've got. Anything's possible.
[ooc: why yes, this is a petition for new Quidditch team members, how did you know??? It's just the Graham and Amelia Show right now and I'd love some co-stars. So. sign-upsign-upsign-up]