tHrEe

[mo_cara]

So lEt mE BrEaK It dOwN FoR YoU MoThErFuCkErS.
tHeRe wAs tHiS MoThErFuCkEr nAmEd jEsUs, AnD ThAt fInE BrOtHeR Be aLl pReAcHiN LiFe aNd pEaCe aNd dRiNk a lOt oF MoThErUfUcKiN WiNe wItH HiS HoMiEs.
So hE Be bRiNgInG MiRaClEs uP To aLl tHeM GrEeK MoThErFuCkErS WhAt lIvEd iN NaZaReTh aNd aLsO SoMe bAbIeS AnD InCeNsE AnD ShIt.
BuT SoMe aSsHoLe cAmE AlOnG AnD DeCiDeD To hAnG JeSuS Up oN A MoThErFuCkIn cRoSs wItH NaIlS, aNd dId sOmE FuCkEd uP ToRtUrE ShIt tO ThAt sWeEt bRo, UnTiL He hAd hAd eNoUgH WiTh tHaT WhAcKeD PlAcE, wHiCh wAs aLl bEiNg cAlLeD ThE CiTy oF SkUlLs.
So hE PuLlEd hIs bAd sElF DoWn fRoM ThE CrOsS AnD ThErE WaS BlOoD AnD ShIt mOtHeRfUcKiN EvErYwHeRe, BuT He dIdN'T EvEn cArE, eXcEpT He sTiLl uP AnD DiEd.
AnD ThEy sTuCk tHaT BrOtHeR In a mOtHeRfUcKiN CaVe aNd hE TuRnEd iNtO A ZoMbIe bEcAuSe hE HaD ThAt mUcH MaGiC AlL Up iN HiM, tHe mAgIc oF MuSiC AnD LoVe aNd aLl tHaT GoOd sHiT, aNd hE KePt oN PrEaChIn tHe wOrD Of mIrAcLeS EvEn aFtEr hE WaS DeAd.
AnD ThAt's wHaT EaStEr iS, iT'S ZoMbIe jEsUs dAy, AnD YoU GoTtA WaTcH ThE MoThErFuCkIn eGgS BeCaUsE If tHeY HaTcH ZoMbIe cHiCkEnS ThEn tHaT MeAnS JeSuS Is cOmInG BaCk tO GeT ReVeNgE AnD AlSo cLeAr aLl tHe mOtHeRfUcKeRs mInDs oF HaTe aNd sHiT.

( OOC translation in normal text. )

FOUR ♋

[selfhatred]

[The page is a myriad of crossed out sentences, most of them unintelligible, before it finishes in one sentence. This was also meant to be private but Mr Crabbypants forgot about that.]

I'M SORRY.

[After a few minutes that's scribbled out too and then this appears]

I'LL BE IN THE OWLERY IF ANYONE NEEDS ME.

second

[purrfect]

[ Nepeta's been pretty quiet since Valentine's, but all the team spirit following the Quidditch match seems to be bringing back her usual perkiness. As always, every line comes with a little kitty face doodled beside it. ]

:3 < so wow that was a purretty great match!!
:3 < i am supurr proud of my teammates
:3 < and hufflepuff played really really well too!

:3 < also you know what, im still wondering about those strings
:3 < its been like two weeks, has anything interesting happened with the thing your string led to??
:3 < i didnt get to hear about everyones and
:3 < well i am really curious!

[ This is from the girl whose string led to her cat. ]

~*~ 셋 ~*~

[yourseoulmate]

It's Leap Day, that special time that only comes around once every four years! It occurs to me that not many people are familiar with the kinds of things that make Leap Day so unique, but lucky for you all I'm here to set you straight on these little-known but 100% scientifically accurate facts!

LEAP DAY FUN TRIVIA
1. If you're conceived on Leap Day, you're born with a prehensile tail. Parents usually decide to cut it off at birth, but if you manage to live to see 25 Leap Days, it grows back with a vengeance.

2. On Leap Day, everyone is exempt from one of the laws of physics, but which one varies from person to person. You just have to find out yours through trial and error!

3. In Venezuela, the color orange completely vanishes and nobody living there remembers it having ever existed. It comes back at midnight on March 1st.

4. If you wish for something on Leap Day, it will be granted! But the wish has to relate to office supplies in some way.

5. If you die on Leap Day, you come back to life at the next Leap Day! Unfortunately, the resurrection is usually pretty short-lived, since few people are keen on digging up four-year-old graves.

There! Isn't learning fun?

Experiment Ten

[status_is_not_quo]

I always forget the frenzy that the mindless activity of athletics tends to spark in the hive-mind of the school. I'll probably never understand the draw of institutionalized violence, but whatever. I could actually care less.

Now if only the Gryffindumbs could leave the rest of the castle out of their celebrations and just let everything go back to normal.