Two Sick Beats

[clockspinner]

_{[It's....technically Sunday. And yes, the timestamp is in fact completely accurate. 0457 GMT.]}

WHERE IS HE?
BRO I FUCKING KNOW YOURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CASTLE
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOURE DOING HERE
OR HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT IN OUR ROOM
BUT I KNOW YOURE HERE SOMEWHERE AND I WILL FIND YOU

<sub>[Karkat and John (as well as most of Gryffindor Tower) just got the rudest awakening of the year. Namely, Dave screaming like the star in an exorcism movie and flailing out from under a massive, multicoloured pile of his brother's signature smuppets. Y u p.

Happy Parent's Day, everyone!]</sub>

♋ 1

[nosigntospeakof]

SO MANY PARENTS ARE ARRIVING MUCH SOONER THAN ANTICIPATED.
I HONESTLY WASN'T EXPECTING MUCH OF ANYONE UNTIL EARLY AFTERNOON AT LEAST.

HELLO, PARENTS AND GUARDIANS! WELCOME TO HOGWARTS AND IN SOME CASES BACK TO HOGWARTS.
I'M PROFESSOR VANTAS, THE HISTORY OF MAGIC TEACHER.
I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING ALL OF YOU AND GIVING YOU PROGRESS REPORTS ON YOUR CHILDREN.

YES, NEPETA AND KARKAT, THAT INCLUDES BOTH OF YOU.

Squiddle 3

[selfmakeout]

( cut for obnoxious lime text )

❀ oo5:: Maternal love.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Good morning, all. I do believe I've just experienced karmic retribution.
Consider this a thinly veiled tribute and public service announcement: my darling mother is, in fact, somewhere in the vicinity of this castle.

I woke up to several My Little Unicorn dolls and three wizened statues of Albus Dumbledore hobnobbing on my bedside table - as well as two bottles of Old Ogden's Firewhisky which I have surrendered to the appropriate authorities.

Mother, come out, come out, wherever you are. I haven't quite thanked you properly for the gifts and veritable flood of letters I experience every weekend. May we shower each other with familial gestures of kindness all day and may I revel in your maternal charms this fine mothering Sunday.

Everyone, meet my mother, whom I love unconditionally.

Someone, anyone, please kill me now.

Day 4

[faintwaves]

[This was private, or at least she could have sworn it was private, but apparently her extreme state of mind just up and sapped her magic.]

They're not here...

I guess they really are pretending Hogwarts doesn't exist


this is dumb it shouldn't bother me

but why doesn't anything they do or say make sense?

(no subject)

[fuckmackandme]

how the fuck did he even bring all this cake to the castle?!?

1st Wish

[that_witch_remains]

There's got to be a ghost-proof room in this damn castle, so where the hell is it?!

If any of you know, you'll answer if you know what's good for you!

[Kyouko's ghostly parents have made an appearance for Parents' Day. They're pretty hard to miss. Her dad's the man with the noose around his neck who's calling everyone a devil-worshipping child-indoctrinator who deserves to burn for their sins. And her mom is the woman with the slit throat who hasn't really done anything besides cry. Kyouko's managed to elude them so far, but just barely.]

003

[plastic_spastic]

You can certainly see where some of our special students get their traits from. It should have been called 'Bring yours weirdest freako family member to the castle day'

Not that there aren't enough freaks here already.

I told Mother not to come, it's not like I'm a first year anymore. I did send her a gift for Mothering Sunday though. A trip to a spa, that way she can work on those tiny wrinkles.

FIVE ♋

[selfhatred]

THEY'RE BOTH HERE.
I CAN'T
I CAN'T FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS.
MOM I COULD DEAL WITH BUT...
THIS IS JUST FUCKING BULLSHIT.

[OOC: Karkat's parents should be easy to spot among the other dead ones here. His mother was run over, her neck is twisted to the side and her stomach is sunken on one side, like her organs are missing. His father is the one shot full of bullet holes '^']

Third current

[cuddlefishpeixes]

It's been so much fun to meet everyone's parents! And also, um, enlig)(tening, in some cases. I'm just )(appy t)(at Nanny Gloria made t)(e trip after all! I was worried s)(e wouldn't be able to make it! 38D

...O)(, and Mot)(er is )(ere too.

_{[Feferi's mom is the classy bitch with even more hair than her daughter. Kind of hard to miss. Feferi, meanwhile, will just be hanging out with a little old white-haired lady whose voice is so soft it's barely even a whisper.]}

~*~ 다섯 ~*~

[yourseoulmate]

My mum has shown embarrassing baby pictures of me to every single portrait she's come across. I can already sense the gossip spreading!

My dad just asked me if Harry Houdini graduated from this school and I have no idea if he was joking.

EVERYBODY WHO'S UP TO THEIR NECKS IN RIDICULOUS, BORING PARENTS RIGHT NOW, LET US EMBRACE IN COMMISERATION.